I'll take a break from telling stories to start a multi-part series titled "Sex, Money, and Sugar" to discuss the intricate nature between sex and money in a sugar relationship.
Part 1 - SD's income/wealth/budget vs SB's expected allowance
On sa.com a SD's profile includes information about his income, net worth, and budget for an arrangement, and a SB's profile includes her expected allowance. But like everything else on the internet, keep in mind anyone can create a profile and put whatever they want in it. Therefore it's probably not a good idea to take everything you see at face value and assume the information is accurate.
I usually look at whatever is listed for expected allowance in SB profiles with a grain of salt. There are SB’s who consider the amount of allowance as their most important criteria and therefore will not be flexible. And there are SB’s who will consider the amount of allowance along with other factors and are willing to be flexible. Then there are SB’s who purposely put a large amount to weed out the undesirables but are willing to consider less from the right SD. You won’t know which type you’re dealing with until you have a dialog with them. Once you figure out what you’re dealing with then you can proceed accordingly.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SD’s to learn. That is, the amount of allowance may not be directly related to the quality of relationship and experience. A higher allowance can usually get you younger and hotter arm candy, but there is no guarantee for a better experience. For example, would you have better chemistry with a SB because she is asking for a higher allowance? Or, would a SB asking for a higher allowance be more reliable?
Likewise, I’d suggest SB’s to look at a SD’s listed income/net worth with a grain of salt. Some SD’s purposely under state it because they don’t want pot SB’s to have unrealistic expectations. Some SD’s purposely over state it to attract SB’s that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to attract.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SB’s to learn. That is, a SD’s wealth, income, and lifestyle may not directly relate to how generous and how willing he is to provide an allowance. He has to be able and willing to do so. Some wealthy men are willing to spend lots of money on fine dining, travel, and gifts because they think sharing a piece of their lifestyle is good enough to be a SD. But when it comes to providing an allowance they think there is a stigma associated with it as if they’re too good to be “paying” for a SB. Therefore, for SB's who are looking for an allowance, these wealthy men will just end up wasting their time.
Coming up - Part 2, Allowance in Real Dollar Terms
Sugardaddy Chronicles
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 5
Part 5 - The Happy Ending?
I thought after Bob sent Alice packing that was the end of it but then two weeks later she sent me this email:
Just thought I'd update you with the latest in the saga. I'm not trying to start an argument, pass judgment, nor seeking advice. Just a friendly, "Have you heard" kinda exchange.
I typically don't put much stock in rumors, however the information comes from what I consider to be a reliable source (at least as reliable as the information you presented which was close enough). The two that have provided this information are fairly close to her and are evidently part of the wedding party.
She had her day in court and is now officially divorced form her husband. The SD and SB are now planning a fall wedding with all the trimmings complete with a honeymoon in the Caribbean. They are in the process of closing on a multi-million dollar estate in a gated community near her.
Their profiles are removed from the SD site so they evidently are not looking or wanting contact from others looking. (Unless they have changed their IDs and are there under another name). When I called him to say hello, the answering machine message now includes a "we" as part of the message.
I guess their feelings were real and they both were looking for an exclusive relationship after all. Time will tell if they do in fact go through with things and last. Have you heard anything? Are you still seeing her? Just thought I'd drop this one on you and see what else you knew.
Hope things are well with you!
Apparently there were people who were more in the know than I was. I found the rumor hard to believe, but if it's true then good luck to them!!
However, more than a year later I found out Crystal was back on the SD site and flew out to meet with a SD friend of mine. It's a very small world indeed! So I guess the happy ending for Bob and Crystal, if there was one, was short lived. There was no word on what happened to Alice.
The end.
I thought after Bob sent Alice packing that was the end of it but then two weeks later she sent me this email:
Just thought I'd update you with the latest in the saga. I'm not trying to start an argument, pass judgment, nor seeking advice. Just a friendly, "Have you heard" kinda exchange.
I typically don't put much stock in rumors, however the information comes from what I consider to be a reliable source (at least as reliable as the information you presented which was close enough). The two that have provided this information are fairly close to her and are evidently part of the wedding party.
She had her day in court and is now officially divorced form her husband. The SD and SB are now planning a fall wedding with all the trimmings complete with a honeymoon in the Caribbean. They are in the process of closing on a multi-million dollar estate in a gated community near her.
Their profiles are removed from the SD site so they evidently are not looking or wanting contact from others looking. (Unless they have changed their IDs and are there under another name). When I called him to say hello, the answering machine message now includes a "we" as part of the message.
I guess their feelings were real and they both were looking for an exclusive relationship after all. Time will tell if they do in fact go through with things and last. Have you heard anything? Are you still seeing her? Just thought I'd drop this one on you and see what else you knew.
Hope things are well with you!
Apparently there were people who were more in the know than I was. I found the rumor hard to believe, but if it's true then good luck to them!!
However, more than a year later I found out Crystal was back on the SD site and flew out to meet with a SD friend of mine. It's a very small world indeed! So I guess the happy ending for Bob and Crystal, if there was one, was short lived. There was no word on what happened to Alice.
The end.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 4
Part 4 - Sugar Triangle No More
Several days after my conversation with Alice, she posted this on the sugar forum:
Bob is the most kind and considerate man I had ever known and generous sugardaddie I almost had. He was genuinely concerned and offered advice, guidance, or occasional financial assistance when the times were right. He was most respectful toward me and other women in general.
I knew he had a sugarbabie and that she did not have as much time to spend with him as he desired allegedly due to her normal job and her child. I knew he cared for her very much and yet I tried to come between them.
In discussions with others from the SD website I obtained information that perhaps all her time she could not spend with him was not with her child or her job. That she had other sugardaddies for additional fun. I visited him and gave him what I believed to be true evidence of her seeing others. I knew this would upset him and I don't know if I was truly trying to keep from hurting him more in the long run or if I was greedy and wanted more for me.
As it turned out, he truly was upset. He and she had some heated discussions over the phone. Some of the times that had been given to me when she was allegedly seeing others was actually traveling with him, or visiting his home.
The bottom line is that I was cordially asked by him to fly back to my home that evening and not call, write, or come back ever again. He and she are a stronger couple now than they were before and both their profiles have been changed on the website to indicate they have found their one.
I was cautioned not to do anything stupid by some on the board. I was told not to interfere and just be the best I could when he was with me. I allowed myself the delusion that I knew better and that he would end up being devoted to me. Evidently I still have a long way to go toward maturity.
What did I learn? No matter how good your intentions or motives do not try to get between an established couple. Be sure of your facts, and find a sly way to make them know when the time is right. Also do some real soul searching to find out what your intentions truly are.
Some day I hope to find someone as nice as he was, is, and will continue to be!
Several days after my conversation with Alice, she posted this on the sugar forum:
Bob is the most kind and considerate man I had ever known and generous sugardaddie I almost had. He was genuinely concerned and offered advice, guidance, or occasional financial assistance when the times were right. He was most respectful toward me and other women in general.
I knew he had a sugarbabie and that she did not have as much time to spend with him as he desired allegedly due to her normal job and her child. I knew he cared for her very much and yet I tried to come between them.
In discussions with others from the SD website I obtained information that perhaps all her time she could not spend with him was not with her child or her job. That she had other sugardaddies for additional fun. I visited him and gave him what I believed to be true evidence of her seeing others. I knew this would upset him and I don't know if I was truly trying to keep from hurting him more in the long run or if I was greedy and wanted more for me.
As it turned out, he truly was upset. He and she had some heated discussions over the phone. Some of the times that had been given to me when she was allegedly seeing others was actually traveling with him, or visiting his home.
The bottom line is that I was cordially asked by him to fly back to my home that evening and not call, write, or come back ever again. He and she are a stronger couple now than they were before and both their profiles have been changed on the website to indicate they have found their one.
I was cautioned not to do anything stupid by some on the board. I was told not to interfere and just be the best I could when he was with me. I allowed myself the delusion that I knew better and that he would end up being devoted to me. Evidently I still have a long way to go toward maturity.
What did I learn? No matter how good your intentions or motives do not try to get between an established couple. Be sure of your facts, and find a sly way to make them know when the time is right. Also do some real soul searching to find out what your intentions truly are.
Some day I hope to find someone as nice as he was, is, and will continue to be!
I specifically advised her not to confront him when she went to visit him but she did anyway. I don't know who else she talked to about her situation, but everything I told her was based on my own experience which I knew to be accurate. Somebody else may have given her bad information or passed on gossips and rumors. What a tangled web we weave!!
Coming up - the happy ending?
Coming up - the happy ending?
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 3
Part 3 - The Sugar Triangle, Plus One
Let's recap the situation so far. Bob appeared to be in a "serious" sugar relationship with Crystal, who I met three times, and he was also seeing Alice as a SB, who was aware of his relationship with Crystal.
After seeing Alice's post I felt like I'm in the middle of a soap opera watching the plot unfold, while playing a bit part with peripheral ties to the main characters. But that's about to change as I decided to reach out to Alice by email. She was young and new to the sugar world, and it appeared that she's stepping on some sensitive toes and she could get hurt if she's not careful. Here's what I wrote to her:
Seems like you have a good thing going with your SD. I think what he does or doesn't do with his other SB is his business and you shouldn't worry about it too much. Whether the other SB is taking care of his needs or not, you just need to do what you're comfortable with and take care of him. Then whatever happens, happens. As long as you are not doing anything deliberately with malicious intent to hurt someone then I think it's all fair. I think I know the people involved here but that's really none of my business anyway. Good luck! Let me know if you have any questions.
Obviously my email got Alice's attention and she replied right away:
I replied to your email a few moments ago along with a few others that I received. I have come back and read yours again a little slower and see things I did not previously notice. You KNOW us? Am I some sick game to him/them? what do you know of the situation and the people? This is disturbing to me, especially since you wrote me personally. I do not like to be made a fool of at any time!
Another reason I was asking these questions and getting opinions is that he has asked me to go look at an estate with him. He wants my opinion on legal matters and on some of the details and such. I also know it is a ploy to spend time with me, and frankly I do want to see a multi-million dollar estate. If he is serious, this estate places him closer to me than he is currently. I do not know for sure, but I think she is in the same area, and therefore would also put him closer to her than he is now.
I guess all things considered I never realized I might be sharing someone and I don't think I am comfortable with that. I do appreciate your comments but if you know or suspect more please tell me! Thank you.
I gave her one more email reply and suggested we talk on the phone:
Yes I know the people involved but it's really none of my business so I didn't want to say too much. I don't want to get involved in other people's personal lives especially if it doesn't concern me. However, I think it would be important for you to get a better understanding of the full picture, whether it's good, bad, or ugly, so you can make your own choices. Especially because you seem to care for your SD a lot and it might develop into something serious. Let's talk on the phone to discuss further.
During the phone call I told her what she wanted to know. I also advised her not to act irrationally or emotionally because that will only make things worse. Being in a sugar triangle sucks and it rarely ends well for anyone. Despite my advice, I got the sense that she was about to do something she might regret.
Coming up - Sugar Triangle No More
Let's recap the situation so far. Bob appeared to be in a "serious" sugar relationship with Crystal, who I met three times, and he was also seeing Alice as a SB, who was aware of his relationship with Crystal.
After seeing Alice's post I felt like I'm in the middle of a soap opera watching the plot unfold, while playing a bit part with peripheral ties to the main characters. But that's about to change as I decided to reach out to Alice by email. She was young and new to the sugar world, and it appeared that she's stepping on some sensitive toes and she could get hurt if she's not careful. Here's what I wrote to her:
Seems like you have a good thing going with your SD. I think what he does or doesn't do with his other SB is his business and you shouldn't worry about it too much. Whether the other SB is taking care of his needs or not, you just need to do what you're comfortable with and take care of him. Then whatever happens, happens. As long as you are not doing anything deliberately with malicious intent to hurt someone then I think it's all fair. I think I know the people involved here but that's really none of my business anyway. Good luck! Let me know if you have any questions.
Obviously my email got Alice's attention and she replied right away:
I replied to your email a few moments ago along with a few others that I received. I have come back and read yours again a little slower and see things I did not previously notice. You KNOW us? Am I some sick game to him/them? what do you know of the situation and the people? This is disturbing to me, especially since you wrote me personally. I do not like to be made a fool of at any time!
Another reason I was asking these questions and getting opinions is that he has asked me to go look at an estate with him. He wants my opinion on legal matters and on some of the details and such. I also know it is a ploy to spend time with me, and frankly I do want to see a multi-million dollar estate. If he is serious, this estate places him closer to me than he is currently. I do not know for sure, but I think she is in the same area, and therefore would also put him closer to her than he is now.
I guess all things considered I never realized I might be sharing someone and I don't think I am comfortable with that. I do appreciate your comments but if you know or suspect more please tell me! Thank you.
I gave her one more email reply and suggested we talk on the phone:
Yes I know the people involved but it's really none of my business so I didn't want to say too much. I don't want to get involved in other people's personal lives especially if it doesn't concern me. However, I think it would be important for you to get a better understanding of the full picture, whether it's good, bad, or ugly, so you can make your own choices. Especially because you seem to care for your SD a lot and it might develop into something serious. Let's talk on the phone to discuss further.
During the phone call I told her what she wanted to know. I also advised her not to act irrationally or emotionally because that will only make things worse. Being in a sugar triangle sucks and it rarely ends well for anyone. Despite my advice, I got the sense that she was about to do something she might regret.
Coming up - Sugar Triangle No More
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 2
Part 2 - The Plot Thickens!
While Bob's name was being mentioned in one sugar forum, Crystal's name came up in another forum!! A SD was inquiring about her and wanting to know if any of the SD's have come in contact with her. Shortly after, he posted that he was supposed to meet her but she flaked out due to some family emergency, but she gave him mine and Bob's handle as references to show that she's for real!!
By now I'm thinking.... WTF!! I've only met her three times and I'm supposed to be her reference?? And what's Bob got to do with this?? Sure enough, shortly after that post I got an email from Bob:
I have questions about her and your meetings. She is leading me to beileve that she wants an exclusive relationship.... I take it from you that I am being misled. Can you give me the lowdown? Thanks.
I replied to him with what little I knew about Crystal and confirmed that we did meet three times. He thanked me for the information and I didn't hear from him again.
A few weeks later Alice posted again on the sugar forum. Apparently by this time a lot has happened between her and Bob. She wrote:
I am new to the sd/sb arrangements and do not know what is considered proper or acceptable and I need some advice.
I have been in contact with a very generous gentleman that has helped me in some times of need. We have met and he is truly a gentleman in his actions and has asked nothing from me in return for his help. (I even visited him in his recent hospital stay of which he reimbursed my travel expenses.) The topic of sex has not come up although I can tell he is very interested in me physically.
The dilemma: He has a sugarbaby that he cares for very deeply. I know he is providing much more assistance for her although her schedule and his do not allow them to see each other as often as he wants. I do believe that if she was more available to him he would marry her in an instance. Because she is not available enough for him, I have had the opportunity to get to know him better. He is a very likeable and generous guy that I could spend even more time with if he wanted.
I don't wish to overstep bounds and knock another sb out of a good thing; but at the same time if she isn't taking care of business then she should lose out. Is all fair in love and money? Should I not give her another thought? Waiting for your opinions and advice.
Obviously the SB in question is Crystal, and things seemed to have gotten pretty serious between her and Bob in a short period of time. But why is Alice still involved, and what is Bob trying to accomplish with her?? One of the replies to Alice's post pretty much summed up my sentiment:
This is a perfect example of a very screwed up dysfunctional relationship. If I were the man in this tryst, I would be incredibly embarrassed. These types of friendships are usually very discrete, and no one wants to have their dirty laundry aired in public. If this man had no money and wasn't so willing to part with it, I'm sure both women would be looking elsewhere.
Coming up - The Sugar Triangle, Plus One
While Bob's name was being mentioned in one sugar forum, Crystal's name came up in another forum!! A SD was inquiring about her and wanting to know if any of the SD's have come in contact with her. Shortly after, he posted that he was supposed to meet her but she flaked out due to some family emergency, but she gave him mine and Bob's handle as references to show that she's for real!!
By now I'm thinking.... WTF!! I've only met her three times and I'm supposed to be her reference?? And what's Bob got to do with this?? Sure enough, shortly after that post I got an email from Bob:
I have questions about her and your meetings. She is leading me to beileve that she wants an exclusive relationship.... I take it from you that I am being misled. Can you give me the lowdown? Thanks.
I replied to him with what little I knew about Crystal and confirmed that we did meet three times. He thanked me for the information and I didn't hear from him again.
A few weeks later Alice posted again on the sugar forum. Apparently by this time a lot has happened between her and Bob. She wrote:
I am new to the sd/sb arrangements and do not know what is considered proper or acceptable and I need some advice.
I have been in contact with a very generous gentleman that has helped me in some times of need. We have met and he is truly a gentleman in his actions and has asked nothing from me in return for his help. (I even visited him in his recent hospital stay of which he reimbursed my travel expenses.) The topic of sex has not come up although I can tell he is very interested in me physically.
The dilemma: He has a sugarbaby that he cares for very deeply. I know he is providing much more assistance for her although her schedule and his do not allow them to see each other as often as he wants. I do believe that if she was more available to him he would marry her in an instance. Because she is not available enough for him, I have had the opportunity to get to know him better. He is a very likeable and generous guy that I could spend even more time with if he wanted.
I don't wish to overstep bounds and knock another sb out of a good thing; but at the same time if she isn't taking care of business then she should lose out. Is all fair in love and money? Should I not give her another thought? Waiting for your opinions and advice.
Obviously the SB in question is Crystal, and things seemed to have gotten pretty serious between her and Bob in a short period of time. But why is Alice still involved, and what is Bob trying to accomplish with her?? One of the replies to Alice's post pretty much summed up my sentiment:
This is a perfect example of a very screwed up dysfunctional relationship. If I were the man in this tryst, I would be incredibly embarrassed. These types of friendships are usually very discrete, and no one wants to have their dirty laundry aired in public. If this man had no money and wasn't so willing to part with it, I'm sure both women would be looking elsewhere.
Coming up - The Sugar Triangle, Plus One
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 1
Part 1 - It's a small world
Everyone loves a soap opera, right? Here's a convoluted situation I got myself into, please note the usual disclaimers apply.
During my early days in the sugar world I had several experiences that were one and done or fizzled out after a few meetings. One such case was with Crystal (not her real name), she was in her early 30's and a single mom trying to make ends meet. I stopped seeing her after three meetings because even though we enjoyed each other's company, I just didn't think we were that compatible and had much of a connection. I didn't think much of it at the time and moved on and so did she.
Not long after, in an online forum for sugar relationships (this was before the days of Facebook and blogs) I noticed a post from a newbie SB named Alice inquiring about a pot SD named Bob (not their real names). She wrote:
He seems like a very nice guy named Bob from [removed]. We have written some emails and talked on messenger only when I initiate the emails or conversation. He did give me a phone number that works and sounds nice on the phone, too. He helped out when my car broke down recently but seems hesitant about actually meeting. He has been polite and has not wanted any naughty pictures, webcams, or asked anything in return. Is he just a benevolent gentleman? Anyone else know anything about him? Should he be avoided?
She got several replies giving her advice. One of the replies she got was from Crystal and that got my attention! Crystal wrote:
First of all I would like to say I know Bob pretty well. He is a very sweet and genuine person. I have met him on several occasions and we get along great. Secondly, He isn't just a flirt or penpal type guy. He is a true gentleman. Last thing, Alice as far as advise for you...Just ask if he is still interested in seeing you? He is the kind of guy that will say yes or no pretty easily. I am a person that believes if you want to know something about someone ask them first, If you don't get what you want then move on to other avenues like this. If you feel he is putting you to the side or not giving you enough attention that you need then why do you want him as your sugardaddy? Just my thoughts.
Hmmmm... so Crystal knew Bob very well who was also interested in Alice. Did Crystal meet Bob before, after, or during the time she was seeing me?? Since I wasn't seeing Crystal anymore it really didn't matter, but I suspected there was a lot more than meets the eye and I was intrigued by the situation.
Coming up - the plot thickens!
Everyone loves a soap opera, right? Here's a convoluted situation I got myself into, please note the usual disclaimers apply.
During my early days in the sugar world I had several experiences that were one and done or fizzled out after a few meetings. One such case was with Crystal (not her real name), she was in her early 30's and a single mom trying to make ends meet. I stopped seeing her after three meetings because even though we enjoyed each other's company, I just didn't think we were that compatible and had much of a connection. I didn't think much of it at the time and moved on and so did she.
Not long after, in an online forum for sugar relationships (this was before the days of Facebook and blogs) I noticed a post from a newbie SB named Alice inquiring about a pot SD named Bob (not their real names). She wrote:
He seems like a very nice guy named Bob from [removed]. We have written some emails and talked on messenger only when I initiate the emails or conversation. He did give me a phone number that works and sounds nice on the phone, too. He helped out when my car broke down recently but seems hesitant about actually meeting. He has been polite and has not wanted any naughty pictures, webcams, or asked anything in return. Is he just a benevolent gentleman? Anyone else know anything about him? Should he be avoided?
She got several replies giving her advice. One of the replies she got was from Crystal and that got my attention! Crystal wrote:
First of all I would like to say I know Bob pretty well. He is a very sweet and genuine person. I have met him on several occasions and we get along great. Secondly, He isn't just a flirt or penpal type guy. He is a true gentleman. Last thing, Alice as far as advise for you...Just ask if he is still interested in seeing you? He is the kind of guy that will say yes or no pretty easily. I am a person that believes if you want to know something about someone ask them first, If you don't get what you want then move on to other avenues like this. If you feel he is putting you to the side or not giving you enough attention that you need then why do you want him as your sugardaddy? Just my thoughts.
Hmmmm... so Crystal knew Bob very well who was also interested in Alice. Did Crystal meet Bob before, after, or during the time she was seeing me?? Since I wasn't seeing Crystal anymore it really didn't matter, but I suspected there was a lot more than meets the eye and I was intrigued by the situation.
Coming up - the plot thickens!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
"All SD's To Me Are Just Walking ATM's!"
I almost fell out of my chair when I read that! After the initial introductory email, here's the email exchange I had a few years ago with a pot SB about meeting for dinner to get to know each other first. I'm not making this up!!
Me:
For our first meeting I think meeting for a nice dinner would be a good start. It's important to see that there is mutual attraction and chemistry and see how well we get along together. Then we can take it from there. What kind of food do you like and what are your favorite restaurants?
Her:
well...i hate to be blunt...but that's not really been my thing...i mean dinner's a little too intimate for me...i'll go to dinner though...but i expect to be compensated for my time....as this approach is somewhat new to me...chemistry has never been a problem....i mean, if i went to dinner with everyone that wanted to....i'd never find a real sugar daddy who understands my needs....and it's not just a free meal...so think about it...and u've seen my pics...so i think attraction is not a problem...but i'm definitely here for a sugar daddy....restaurant choice should u choose to partake is (name of a five star steakhouse).
[So she thinks attraction won't be a problem... but what if she doesn't look like her pics? And how does she know chemistry won't be a problem when we haven't even met in person?]
Me:
I understand where you're coming from. Of course you don't want to go to dinner with anyone who asks, you want to be selective. On the other hand, I don't want to pay someone just to have dinner with me. We both invest our time to see if there is a good match. And if money is the only thing you care about then obviously we're not a good match.
Her:
it is a sugar daddy site....but i've had it fulfilled before so i know it's not an impossible request...but i thank you anyway....i mean, if u dont think i'm here to get financial compensation...then i'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding....if u dont need to pay someone for anything....maybe this isnt the site for u....i just have a different approach when it comes to these things...well...have a blast here ....if u change your mind and realize what's money anyway....then u can email me and we'll meet....
[There's that old trick... "what's money anyway", implying that if you're a real SD then surely you don't mind throwing some money away. Ummm.. I don't think so!]
Me:
Perhaps you mis-understood what I was trying to say. Yes, we all know this is a SD site and we're here for a reason. I don't have any problem providing for my SB financially once we determine that we're a good match and have an arrangement. But if every potential SB I meet ask for money just to have lunch/dinner with me, how do I know which one is sincere and not just looking at me as a walking ATM?
I think it's fair that both men and women invest their time initially to find out whether the other person is right for them. You seem to assume that you're the right one already and are asking for compensation just to go to dinner. Think about how that comes across to a potential SD. Of course it's only money.... but if I want to throw it away I could do it at the casino! We do have different approaches and that's ok. Like I said we're probably not a good match anyway. Good luck!
Her:
yep...u'll be surprised how many have given me so much just to have dinner with me or grace them with my presence...all SD's to me are just walking ATM's....check my profile...i said it...nothing wrong with that....a walking ATM that gets to be with a goddess like me....
[Whoa, now she's showing her true color! Are you fucking kidding me??]
Me:
For our first meeting I think meeting for a nice dinner would be a good start. It's important to see that there is mutual attraction and chemistry and see how well we get along together. Then we can take it from there. What kind of food do you like and what are your favorite restaurants?
Her:
well...i hate to be blunt...but that's not really been my thing...i mean dinner's a little too intimate for me...i'll go to dinner though...but i expect to be compensated for my time....as this approach is somewhat new to me...chemistry has never been a problem....i mean, if i went to dinner with everyone that wanted to....i'd never find a real sugar daddy who understands my needs....and it's not just a free meal...so think about it...and u've seen my pics...so i think attraction is not a problem...but i'm definitely here for a sugar daddy....restaurant choice should u choose to partake is (name of a five star steakhouse).
[So she thinks attraction won't be a problem... but what if she doesn't look like her pics? And how does she know chemistry won't be a problem when we haven't even met in person?]
Me:
I understand where you're coming from. Of course you don't want to go to dinner with anyone who asks, you want to be selective. On the other hand, I don't want to pay someone just to have dinner with me. We both invest our time to see if there is a good match. And if money is the only thing you care about then obviously we're not a good match.
Her:
it is a sugar daddy site....but i've had it fulfilled before so i know it's not an impossible request...but i thank you anyway....i mean, if u dont think i'm here to get financial compensation...then i'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding....if u dont need to pay someone for anything....maybe this isnt the site for u....i just have a different approach when it comes to these things...well...have a blast here ....if u change your mind and realize what's money anyway....then u can email me and we'll meet....
[There's that old trick... "what's money anyway", implying that if you're a real SD then surely you don't mind throwing some money away. Ummm.. I don't think so!]
Me:
Perhaps you mis-understood what I was trying to say. Yes, we all know this is a SD site and we're here for a reason. I don't have any problem providing for my SB financially once we determine that we're a good match and have an arrangement. But if every potential SB I meet ask for money just to have lunch/dinner with me, how do I know which one is sincere and not just looking at me as a walking ATM?
I think it's fair that both men and women invest their time initially to find out whether the other person is right for them. You seem to assume that you're the right one already and are asking for compensation just to go to dinner. Think about how that comes across to a potential SD. Of course it's only money.... but if I want to throw it away I could do it at the casino! We do have different approaches and that's ok. Like I said we're probably not a good match anyway. Good luck!
Her:
yep...u'll be surprised how many have given me so much just to have dinner with me or grace them with my presence...all SD's to me are just walking ATM's....check my profile...i said it...nothing wrong with that....a walking ATM that gets to be with a goddess like me....
[Whoa, now she's showing her true color! Are you fucking kidding me??]
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Girl Who Pissed in the Alley - Part 1
After an emotional story like "The Last Hurrah", I'll switch gears and tell a different kind of story. Please note the usual disclaimers apply.
During a business trip to Chicago I arranged to meet a pot SB for dinner. She was in her mid 20's, a cute slim blond who worked as a waitress and bartender. I asked her to pick a place to meet and she picked a nice restaurant in the Wicker Park area which she said is the SoHo of Chicago. Unfortunately I was tied up at work that evening and was going to be late for the dinner planned at 8:30pm. Sure enough, as I headed out I looked at my phone and saw several messages from her saying she's already there and where the hell was I.
I replied to let her know I'm running late but I'm on my way and she can go ahead and order whatever she wants. By the time I got there the place was empty and she was sitting at the bar chatting up a storm with the bartender. Apparently she's already had dinner and downed a bottle of wine, so I just ordered dessert and had a glass of dessert wine to go with it. Obviously after a bottle of wine in her slim body she's pretty lively and friendly and was ready to party. The bartender said after they close they usually hang out at Empire which is a cool bar and lounge. So we agreed to meet the bartender and her friends there later and then we walked down the block to a pub and had a beer and two shots. Then we walked across the street to Empire. The place was pretty dead but the music was good. We had two cocktails and two more shots and this is when I decided to stop drinking.
She seemed pretty smashed but had no problem with making out in the quiet corner of the lounge as we were tongue kissing and caressing each other's body. Then she was dancing by herself and chatting up anyone and everyone in the lounge and I tried to keep up with her to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. After a while the bartender and her friends showed up and I bought two rounds for them and of course she participated too. The bartender noticed that my date was looking shit faced and took her to the ladies room to try to sober her up, but I think she was beyond drunk and it didn't do much good. Then we left to go to another bar with live music to hang out and dance for a while without drinking. We were approached by another couple who invited us to go "party" at someone's house. I didn't get a good vibe from them so I passed. By now it's about 2am and I thought we should be heading out so I tried to get her to move along and she refused and wanted to party and drink some more.
Of course you can't really argue with a drunk and get her to do what she doesn't want to do. So I struggled for a while and finally got her out the door, then as we walked past the pub we were at earlier she insisted that she wanted to go in. I gave the bouncer a knowing look and he refused to let her in and she threw a fit. Then she went into the alley and tried to go in the side door. When that didn't work she got very upset and pulled downed her pants, squatted down, and started peeing in the middle of the alley!!
At this point, what should I have done?
A. Cut my losses and leave her in the alley. I don't need to make a bad night any worse.
B. Bring her to the pub and let her drink some more, since that's what she wanted anyway.
C. Take her to party with the other couple at someone's house. Who knows, it could be fun!
D. Take her back to her place and tuck her in. That's what a gentleman would do.
E. Something else?
To be continued....
During a business trip to Chicago I arranged to meet a pot SB for dinner. She was in her mid 20's, a cute slim blond who worked as a waitress and bartender. I asked her to pick a place to meet and she picked a nice restaurant in the Wicker Park area which she said is the SoHo of Chicago. Unfortunately I was tied up at work that evening and was going to be late for the dinner planned at 8:30pm. Sure enough, as I headed out I looked at my phone and saw several messages from her saying she's already there and where the hell was I.
I replied to let her know I'm running late but I'm on my way and she can go ahead and order whatever she wants. By the time I got there the place was empty and she was sitting at the bar chatting up a storm with the bartender. Apparently she's already had dinner and downed a bottle of wine, so I just ordered dessert and had a glass of dessert wine to go with it. Obviously after a bottle of wine in her slim body she's pretty lively and friendly and was ready to party. The bartender said after they close they usually hang out at Empire which is a cool bar and lounge. So we agreed to meet the bartender and her friends there later and then we walked down the block to a pub and had a beer and two shots. Then we walked across the street to Empire. The place was pretty dead but the music was good. We had two cocktails and two more shots and this is when I decided to stop drinking.
She seemed pretty smashed but had no problem with making out in the quiet corner of the lounge as we were tongue kissing and caressing each other's body. Then she was dancing by herself and chatting up anyone and everyone in the lounge and I tried to keep up with her to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. After a while the bartender and her friends showed up and I bought two rounds for them and of course she participated too. The bartender noticed that my date was looking shit faced and took her to the ladies room to try to sober her up, but I think she was beyond drunk and it didn't do much good. Then we left to go to another bar with live music to hang out and dance for a while without drinking. We were approached by another couple who invited us to go "party" at someone's house. I didn't get a good vibe from them so I passed. By now it's about 2am and I thought we should be heading out so I tried to get her to move along and she refused and wanted to party and drink some more.
Of course you can't really argue with a drunk and get her to do what she doesn't want to do. So I struggled for a while and finally got her out the door, then as we walked past the pub we were at earlier she insisted that she wanted to go in. I gave the bouncer a knowing look and he refused to let her in and she threw a fit. Then she went into the alley and tried to go in the side door. When that didn't work she got very upset and pulled downed her pants, squatted down, and started peeing in the middle of the alley!!
At this point, what should I have done?
A. Cut my losses and leave her in the alley. I don't need to make a bad night any worse.
B. Bring her to the pub and let her drink some more, since that's what she wanted anyway.
C. Take her to party with the other couple at someone's house. Who knows, it could be fun!
D. Take her back to her place and tuck her in. That's what a gentleman would do.
E. Something else?
To be continued....
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Last Hurrah - Epilogue
We broke up for good after the big fight that ended in a train wreck. We stayed in touch occasionally to wish each other happy birthday and happy new year, but not much more. We had both moved on and it was for the best, because somehow we brought out the worst in each other. When it was good it was beyond great, but when it was bad it was down right explosive. I told her she reminded me so much of my college girlfriend, but who needs all that drama in a sugar relationship?
Fast forward a year and a half later, or about two years after we first met. I was back in her town for business and on a whim I thought I'd look her up. She was happy to hear from me and agreed to meet and catch up. I asked her where she'd like to meet, and instead of picking some fancy place she wanted to meet at a hole in the wall ice cream stand. Then I remembered that's where she took me to during one of our first dates when things couldn't be better between us and we couldn't get enough of each other!!
I was a bit apprehensive going into the meeting as if I was meeting her for the first time all over again. I wondered which Laine will show up. The manipulative conniving drama queen, or the easy going pretty girl next door? She showed up as planned and greeted me with a big smile and a big hug. She was just as I remembered when I first met her, very pretty in a girl next door kind of way, dressed casually with a tube top, jeans, and flip flops, witty and funny. And she knew exactly how to keep me on my toes and made fun of me every chance she got.
It was a beautiful afternoon and we spent about an hour talking nicely and enjoying the ice cream in the sun. She said after we broke up, her mom somehow found out about her escort activities and demanded that she go home and stay with her to keep her out of trouble (thank god for mom!). Then she returned to help out with decorating and managing her family's rental properties in the area. Sounds like she had put her wild days behind her and was back to "normal" again.
I can't help but wonder if I met her for the first time then, what would have happened? But there was too much water under the bridge and that ship had sailed. I knew behind that sweet face a darker past just lurks around the corner and who knows what else lies beneath the surface. But on that day, with the sun shining and a light breeze, we were able to enjoy the simple pleasure of eating ice cream and having an interesting conversation like two normal people.
We have seen each other at our worst, but it was nice to know that she can still be the girl I remembered when we first met. We hugged each other goodbye as the heart in the sand flashed before my eyes and "Goodbye My Lover" echoed in my head. That was the last time I saw her.
About a year ago she wrote on her Facebook that she was getting married.
The end. (really!!)
Fast forward a year and a half later, or about two years after we first met. I was back in her town for business and on a whim I thought I'd look her up. She was happy to hear from me and agreed to meet and catch up. I asked her where she'd like to meet, and instead of picking some fancy place she wanted to meet at a hole in the wall ice cream stand. Then I remembered that's where she took me to during one of our first dates when things couldn't be better between us and we couldn't get enough of each other!!
I was a bit apprehensive going into the meeting as if I was meeting her for the first time all over again. I wondered which Laine will show up. The manipulative conniving drama queen, or the easy going pretty girl next door? She showed up as planned and greeted me with a big smile and a big hug. She was just as I remembered when I first met her, very pretty in a girl next door kind of way, dressed casually with a tube top, jeans, and flip flops, witty and funny. And she knew exactly how to keep me on my toes and made fun of me every chance she got.
It was a beautiful afternoon and we spent about an hour talking nicely and enjoying the ice cream in the sun. She said after we broke up, her mom somehow found out about her escort activities and demanded that she go home and stay with her to keep her out of trouble (thank god for mom!). Then she returned to help out with decorating and managing her family's rental properties in the area. Sounds like she had put her wild days behind her and was back to "normal" again.
I can't help but wonder if I met her for the first time then, what would have happened? But there was too much water under the bridge and that ship had sailed. I knew behind that sweet face a darker past just lurks around the corner and who knows what else lies beneath the surface. But on that day, with the sun shining and a light breeze, we were able to enjoy the simple pleasure of eating ice cream and having an interesting conversation like two normal people.
We have seen each other at our worst, but it was nice to know that she can still be the girl I remembered when we first met. We hugged each other goodbye as the heart in the sand flashed before my eyes and "Goodbye My Lover" echoed in my head. That was the last time I saw her.
About a year ago she wrote on her Facebook that she was getting married.
The end. (really!!)
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Last Hurrah - Part 10
Part 10 - The Train Wreck
We made it to dinner and the staff was very efficient so it went by very fast. Considering it's a fine dining establishment I almost felt like we were being rushed out the door, which was just fine by her because she said she has a "hot date" with her ex afterward. We talked about why she picked "Goodbye My Lover" as our song. Didn't she know the lyrics and how emotional the song was? She claimed that she only knew the chorus when she picked it, but agreed that the words were very appropriate to our situation. She said she will go get the photo CD and drop it off at my hotel later but who knows if she will actually do it or not. Soon it was time to drop me off at the hotel and I thought it would be nice to spend more time together so I invited her to come up and chat. But she would have none of it and actually got out of the car to take my luggage out of the trunk. Then I noticed that she left her cell phone on the driver's seat so I grabbed it and got out of the car and told her goodbye. I figured this was a good way to return the favor for stealing my camera.
Not long after I got to my room she called from the pink cell phone I gave her (it was a gift from our third meeting) to ask me if I've seen her other cell phone. I played dumb for a while and she got impatient and said she will go back to the restaurant to look for it and hang up on me. I sent her text messages to let her know that I have the phone and she should come get it but I guess she didn't check her messages. Then about an hour later she called again and this time I told her to come see me because I "found" her phone. I said she dropped it and I picked it up, and I was going to give it back to her but since she was in such a hurry to ditch me after dinner so that's why I didn't give it back to her. Of course she wasn't too pleased and I told her to bring the photo CD and negatives in exchange for her phone.
Soon she showed up and looked very agitated. She demanded for her phone and started to look all over the room for it. She figured out quickly that I had it locked in the closet safe and demanded that I open it. I told her to calm down and talk for a bit but then she started to go through my stuff and grabbed my wallet out of my brief case. Of course I can't let her take my wallet so I grabbed her arm to take it back. This is the second time we got into a bit of "rough play", and the first time was when we broke up after three months. By now I can see that she is extremely sensitive to it for whatever reason.
After I took my wallet back from her she basically lost it and screamed and shouted non stop for her phone. Finally I opened the safe to give her the phone, and she threw the CD and negatives on the floor and left in a huff. I asked her, "what's the matter, can't take a little joke?" Obviously she is much better at dishing it out than taking it. I also told her "it was nice knowing you" as she slammed the door on her way out. After that fracas she actually called me twice the next few days and we exchanged a few text messages. It turned out that she really wasn't moving and she expanded her weekend job to 3-4 days a week with 12 hour shifts. She was still active on sugardaddie.com but I noticed that her profile on seekingarrangement was not searchable anymore. I'm sure her "escorting" on the side continues, but who cares.
So despite my best intentions to breakup amicably during the Caribbean trip, we still end up having a big fight that resulted in a train wreck. It was similar to how we broke up the first time after three months. Will this ever end?
Coming up... The Epilogue
We made it to dinner and the staff was very efficient so it went by very fast. Considering it's a fine dining establishment I almost felt like we were being rushed out the door, which was just fine by her because she said she has a "hot date" with her ex afterward. We talked about why she picked "Goodbye My Lover" as our song. Didn't she know the lyrics and how emotional the song was? She claimed that she only knew the chorus when she picked it, but agreed that the words were very appropriate to our situation. She said she will go get the photo CD and drop it off at my hotel later but who knows if she will actually do it or not. Soon it was time to drop me off at the hotel and I thought it would be nice to spend more time together so I invited her to come up and chat. But she would have none of it and actually got out of the car to take my luggage out of the trunk. Then I noticed that she left her cell phone on the driver's seat so I grabbed it and got out of the car and told her goodbye. I figured this was a good way to return the favor for stealing my camera.
Not long after I got to my room she called from the pink cell phone I gave her (it was a gift from our third meeting) to ask me if I've seen her other cell phone. I played dumb for a while and she got impatient and said she will go back to the restaurant to look for it and hang up on me. I sent her text messages to let her know that I have the phone and she should come get it but I guess she didn't check her messages. Then about an hour later she called again and this time I told her to come see me because I "found" her phone. I said she dropped it and I picked it up, and I was going to give it back to her but since she was in such a hurry to ditch me after dinner so that's why I didn't give it back to her. Of course she wasn't too pleased and I told her to bring the photo CD and negatives in exchange for her phone.
Soon she showed up and looked very agitated. She demanded for her phone and started to look all over the room for it. She figured out quickly that I had it locked in the closet safe and demanded that I open it. I told her to calm down and talk for a bit but then she started to go through my stuff and grabbed my wallet out of my brief case. Of course I can't let her take my wallet so I grabbed her arm to take it back. This is the second time we got into a bit of "rough play", and the first time was when we broke up after three months. By now I can see that she is extremely sensitive to it for whatever reason.
After I took my wallet back from her she basically lost it and screamed and shouted non stop for her phone. Finally I opened the safe to give her the phone, and she threw the CD and negatives on the floor and left in a huff. I asked her, "what's the matter, can't take a little joke?" Obviously she is much better at dishing it out than taking it. I also told her "it was nice knowing you" as she slammed the door on her way out. After that fracas she actually called me twice the next few days and we exchanged a few text messages. It turned out that she really wasn't moving and she expanded her weekend job to 3-4 days a week with 12 hour shifts. She was still active on sugardaddie.com but I noticed that her profile on seekingarrangement was not searchable anymore. I'm sure her "escorting" on the side continues, but who cares.
So despite my best intentions to breakup amicably during the Caribbean trip, we still end up having a big fight that resulted in a train wreck. It was similar to how we broke up the first time after three months. Will this ever end?
Coming up... The Epilogue
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