Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sex, Money, and Sugar - Part 2

Part 2 - Allowance in Real Dollar Terms

Allowance is one of the most popular topics in the sugar world and there is no shortage of opinion about it.  Instead of passing judgment on what's fair and reasonable for what's offered or expected, I'd like to examine what it means to have an allowance in real dollar terms.  This will take into account real world factors such as taxes and discretionary income and compare that to established benchmarks.

For example, according to the US Census Bureau, annual median household income in the US is $49k, top 5% starts at $157k, and top 1.5% starts at $250k. Keep these numbers in mind as we look at allowance expectations in real dollars terms by taking into account taxes and SD's discretionary income.

On seekingarrangement.com a SB can indicate the amount of expected allowance in her profile. Let's look at what it means to have $1k, $3k, $5k, and $10k per month. And for illustration purpose let's assume a tax rate of 35% since SD's should be high income individuals.

$1k/month - $12k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $17k before tax.

$3k/month - $36k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $51k before tax. Note this is already higher than the median household income.

$5k/month - $60k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $86k before tax. Note this is more than one and a half times of the median, or more than half the amount of what the top 5% makes.

$10k/month - $120k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $171k before tax. Note this will put you in the top 5% of all US households.

Now that we have put those numbers in perspective, let's realistically think about what are the chances of finding SD's who can provide that kind of allowance as part of their discretionary income. For illustration purpose, let's assume a SD has 20% of his gross income available to spend on a SB. This means the SD should have an income of five times the amount he provides to the SB. Keep in mind this is his total spending on a SB, for which the allowance may only be a part of. This percentage may vary based on each SD's situation such as whether he's single or married.

$1k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $85k per year, this is already way above the median income.

$3k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $255k per year, this is already in the top 1.5%.

$5k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $430k per year.

$10k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $855k per year.

The analysis shown was for illustration purpose only.  One can use different assumptions about tax rates and discretionary income to come up with different figures.  But realistically, how many wealthy men can we expect from the top 1% to sign up on one of these web sites and are serious about being a SD and part with their money?? Think about what kind of work or business the SD should be in to make that kind of money, where they're located, their age and marital status, and what kind of SB they'd be looking for. Will the top 1% of SD's look for an "average" SB, or would they look for the top 1% in SB's as well? What kind of a "real" job would a SB have to get in order to make the equivalent of the allowance she is seeking?

I'm not passing judgment on what people are looking for or what they expect, and I know there are success stories across the spectrum. I'm just applying a straight forward analysis to help those in the sugar world to have a realistic view.

Coming up - Part 3, Escorts vs SB's


  1. Not sure if I understand. How are we supposed to be sugar babies if we ask for little money. We didn't wake up looking this way. It cost money to look good after paying for food and shelter.

    I wouldn't want to date a regular girl either if she's looking like she shops at the thirft store.

  2. Ahhh but you forget to mention one crucial thing... the 3 month curse... so yes while an allowance of 3k over a year gives you 51k of pre tax income that number drastically changes when you look at it from a realistic perspective... you will more likely get 9k from this particular SD which is 12.15k pre tax... not so awesome anymore!

    Also, yes you cannot expect every man to be loaded gazzillionaire on SA but you (or rather i) dont jump into an arrangement with every joker on there. So for illustration purposes only... at my last go I got close to 300 emails (really good pictures) out of which i met less than 10 which is 3% out of which I explored possibilities with 1 ... so 1 out of 300 is 0.33% ... much closer to the US Census huh?

    p.s. body heat :p

  3. @Chloebaby - The point of my post is that no matter what range of allowance a SB is looking for, she should understand what it means in a real-world context.

    @GD - Oh yes the 3 month curse! Of course no one ever enters into an arrangement thinking it won't last. But the reality is that most arrangements don't last as long as expected. That's why I don't consider anything less than 3 months as a "relationship", it's more like an experiment that didn't work.

    And your example of 0.33% success rate re-enforces my point about how difficult it can be to find a SD at the high end of the allowance spectrum.

    p.s. bring it on! :P

  4. Guru: I am glad you are addressing realistic expectations especially when it comes to money. I understand Chloe's viewpoint as it does take money to look ones best. I recently made a choice to take less money as the meets are so infrequent but the man is pure gentleman and we mesh. Finances have gotten tight for me and I had to choose to either start thinking about leaving my last year of college or tighten my belt and pay attention to the quality of the personality of potentials. I do not regret in any way this decision.. and I think sometimes us sugars can forget it is a two way street and as for the 3 month curse.. I have been lucky to have longevity in my sugar relationships in the past. Nice Post guru!!!

  5. Try being a Canadian SD!!

  6. @sugarlane - what you said about money not being the most important factor is actually a subject of discussion in my next post. Great minds think alike! :)

    @Guy in TO - please elaborate!

  7. Could it be that the tax rates in Canada as much higher than in the U.S. so the disposable income is much reduced if you are a Canadian SD?
    If that's the case, try being a SD in Norway or Sweden with the 60% tax rates. What do SD's do there? do they even exist? This definitely warrants a fact finding mission to a Scandinavian country. Maybe I will go there for Easter vacation or something like that. Weather shouldn't be too bad then.

  8. SD is a much rarer thing in Canada, or any countries with a socialist system regime. The only exception being London, which is the NYC of Europe.

    On the subject of "how much", I think both SD's and SB's need to realize that NYC/London operates at a completely different level than the rest of the western world. The huge concentration of high level bankers, combined with extremely high cost of living, means allowances in these two cities are much higher than everywhere else.

  9. @David - You're right about the higher tax rates in other countries where SD's might still exist but in smaller numbers. I'd suggest that you plan your fact finding mission in the summer!

    @Mark - I agree places like NYC/London operate at a different level, and I'd add LA to that list.

  10. @SD Guru & @David
    Yes, it's the tax rate. But unlike the Scandinavian countries, our proximity to the US means that some Canadian SBs have experience with US-based SDs, and have a misplaced sense of the finacial implications.

  11. SD Guru! Heard you were in my neck of the woods last week! You should have looked me up!

    I think that this may have been your BEST post to date!

    For me personally I seek at minimum a SD who can afford a financial allowance of $3k per month. I think this number is the most fair and reasonable number in this overall lifestyle. (I have particular reasons why too-)
    - Its enough to allow you to live above your "old lifestyle" - which is the main focus of Sugar Dating: SB's seek a better lifestyle and quality of life.

    - Its in the middle of dating an Average Joe and dating a guy who is or who is on his way to being a millionaire in net worth.

    I feel that there are a lot of different factors that go into what is fair- time spent with the SD being the primary factor that is used to gauge if the amount is warranted or not.

    I'm too tired to really present my thoughts on this...and I know I am rambling-

    But I just want to close by saying: Most guys on these sites do not have the income to be considered a true SD.
    The rare ones who do- sincerely do not want to part with the allowance, 9 times out of 10- and it may not be because they don't want to give up the money- I think its moreso a feeling of them associating giving up the money with being a (self- imposed) "negative" connotation: I am paying someone to spend time with me and have sex with me.

    I will come back to this and explain my views better...This is where your blog just shot to the top of my interest list!


  12. @Guy in TO - You're right, that puts Canadian SD's at a disadvantage. Perhaps that's why some Canadian SB's say local SD's are hard to find.

    @ChicagoSB - Thanks for your kind words! How did you know I was in your neck of the woods, did I leave a "Guru Was Here" sign? :) Email me and let me know how I can look you up. Can't wait to see the rest of your views!