Part 3 - Escorts vs SB's
This is another popular topic in the sugar world. When sex and money are involved some people take a black and white view, while others understand there can be many shades of grays.
What constitutes an escort
Many years ago when I dealt with escorts on a regular basis it was pretty clear to me what constitutes an escort. They advertise their services with clearly defined rates and there is no screening other than for safety. It was easy to arrange an appointment and there was no need to consider mutual attraction, compatibility and chemistry so just about anyone who can pay the advertised rate can do it. To really get what I want in terms of looks and services it took some work to research escort reviews to make sure my money was well spent.
In general there are three factors that characterize escorts.
- Volume. Escorts tend to have sex with a larger number of men.
- Availability. Escorts will usually have sex with just about anyone who can pay their asking rate.
- Service. Escort's service level (ie what she is willing to do) is usually well documented through reviews. I understand YMMV, but most of the time it's fairly consistent and replicable.
So, just because sex and money are involved in a particular situation, does that automatically make the woman an escort? Apply the criteria I described above and see where she fits.
Pro vs non Pro attitude
Instead of escort vs SB, I prefer to look at it as pro vs non pro. It's more about the attitude or mentality of the woman and less about what the arrangement is or what she does for a living.
A pro attitude means that she values money as the most important criteria. There are other factors she'll consider but it still comes down to money. For example, a typical stripper or VIP hostess type who is not an escort can still have a pro mentality. They think in terms of how much they can make a night working without having sex with anyone, then argue why should they take the same or less money to have sex with someone. With this type of attitude they will typically look for the highest bidder and there is usually a clear linkage between money and performance.
A non pro attitude means that while money is an important factor, it's not the most important one. She will take other factors into consideration such as chemistry, attraction, compatibility, etc. She usually thinks about money in terms of what she needs and not what the perceived "market rate" is. If the money offered suites her needs and she likes who she's spending time with, then that's good enough for her. They don't go to the highest bidder because they don't necessarily think of putting a price on what they do. There is less direct linkage between money and performance.
Also, their attitude may not be related to their experience level or what they do for a living. There are newbie SB's who will approach it with a pro attitude thinking if they're going to do it at all then they want to get the most money possible, while other newbies have no clue what they want and what they're willing to do. There are some escorts on SD sites who will approach it with a non pro attitude as well.
The Escort Fallacy
It's not unusual to see some SBs compare themselves to escort rates for their allowance expectations. Their thinking is if an escort can get $X / Hour or $Y / Day, then surely they're worth a lot more. While that thinking may appear to be reasonable and logical, from a SD’s perspective it’s really counter productive. Being a SD means that we’re not looking to pay by the hour or by the day for an one time trasnaction. That’s what escorts are for. We’re looking for someone we enjoy being with and care about to build an on-going relationship. And on top of that we're willing to provide the financial assistance she needs to make her life easier and reach her goals.
If a SB wants to be paid the equivalent of an hourly or daily rate, then that could really turn some SD's off so I’d suggest they don’t get into the “escort fallacy”. A better way is to think about what your needs and goals are and explain that clearly to the SD and let him know your expectations. If a SD’s offer does not meet your expectation, then simply thank him for his time, decline his offer and move on. There is no need to justify a SB's "worth" by comparing herself to escorts. I'm not saying SB's doesn't "deserve" more than escorts, I'm just saying there are better ways to convince a SD of your "worth" than comparing yourself to escorts.
Coming up, Part 4 - Trust, Allowance, and Intimacy