Here's the winning entry from LASB.
1. Your current situation, your experience with sugar relationships, and why you’re looking for a SD.
I have very little experience with sugar relationships. I have met some nice guys from SA, but the sugar stars have not aligned just yet. An SD relationship appeals to me because I like the idea of not having to go dutch on everything, I enjoy men who are chivalrous, and I want something that is not so serious, allowing me to still have my own life.
2. Why you have chosen the destination and what do you plan to do when you get there.
If I could go anywhere, I would go to Japan. My family was already living in the States by World War II. Upon receiving the notice to leave the West Coast for internment camp, they destroyed all records, artifacts, and heirlooms, fearing that they would be labeled as spies or traitors if they had anything that suggested they were not fully American. They stopped speaking Japanese and became as American as anyone could while still having "slant eyes" and black hair. When I was a child, my family members would tell me that camp was ok because they got to travel. They never expressed resentment, but also never told me any details. They also never spoke of Japan.
The family would say that it was their choice to lose its connections to their ancestry. They said that what happened in the past is not important. My parents and their siblings were brought up not to ask questions, and I am the only one in my generation who has shown curiosity. But by then, no one could or would provide any answers. Or at least that was what I believed up until a few years ago.
Having heard about my curiosity in family matters, Great Grandfather invited me to have dinner with him. We didn't live in the same city and I didn't know him very well, so this came as a surprise to me. I was elated and traveled to his city. When I arrived at the restaurant, there was a woman sitting next to him that wasn't my great grandmother. I stopped myself from blurting out the obvious question that was on my mind, and acted as expressionless as possible. Great Grandfather introduced this woman as his friend, but as the conversation progressed, their relationship became very obvious. She was about 20 years younger than him, making her around 70. And from what I gather, she had been his mistress over many decades.
I'm sure he invited her because she had an excellent memory and he knew that I was seeking more information that he would remember. As he was quite old at the time of this dinner, his memory wasn't great, but he seemed pleased that I was interested. Perhaps he trusted me not to judge him and not to reveal his secret to the family, or maybe he felt that passing along this information was worth the risk, but interestingly he never addressed the elephant in the room and they just proceeded to answer questions about my family's past.
She told me off a trip they took to Japan in which Great Grandfather showed her the house where his father lived. She told me stories of our family, revealing to me our Samurai heritage. This was a surprise to me, as I had always assumed we were peasant farmers, since that's what we were in California. Shockingly, the person who held the most information for me was a woman whose name I had never heard, someone who hadn't been to any family functions, basically a stranger to me. I'm sure her interest in my Great Grandfather, her lover, is why she knew so much about his history. They shared an intimacy that allowed her to probe deeper than blood relatives could.
My great grandfather passed away within a year of that dinner, but I believe I have enough information and the means to access our records, which is what I wish to do. Our town of origin has a microfiche catalog that I can access if I can prove my lineage. I need to present my birth certificate and those of my parents and grandparents. I will also try to bring documents from my aunts and uncles and any other relatives that may be curious or willing to help me. I hope to get names and dates of my relatives, to find out what they did, who they were, and where exactly they lived. I want to hunt down this supposed house as well. I understand that the task is ambitious, but Japanese people place value in family, and are very kind. I have a decent understanding of the culture and protocols, which is important when asking for help there. I will be relying both on the kindness of others as well as my own resourcefulness, two things in which I have great faith.
3. Why I should choose your entry.
I am not sure what you seek for the winning entry, but if you choose mine, it would likely be because it is well thought out and about something more than getting a tan, relaxing on the beach, or going on a shopping spree. I have nothing against those things and actually enjoy spending my time that way, but in my opinion, the type of journey I wish to take is quite unique. Additionally, my story behind my intended trip fits the theme of the SA blog, since this information came from an actual SB.
Sugardaddy Chronicles
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
"Name Your Destination" Contest
In mid December I started a contest called "Name Your Destination" in the Seekingarrangement Blog. The contest rules were as follows:
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When Yaz said “I wish someone would buy me a ticket to (name of destination) just because”… It got me thinking… why not?
So let’s call it the “Name Your Destination” contest, and here are the rules.
1. Female SB’s who are not currently in a sugar relationship are eligible to enter. (don’t want to step on any SD’s toes)
2. Destination should be served by a major airline. (Timbuktu Air doesn’t count)
3. Have a flexible travel schedule. (if you can only travel during major holidays then you might be out of luck)
The grand prize is one round trip airline ticket to the destination of the winner’s choice with the travel schedule to be mutually agreed, plus 500 cash. The second prize is 500 cash. The third prize is a monogrammed snuggie. Thanks to Arctic SD for providing the cash portion of the prizes.
How to enter:
Email me at the addy in my blog. Include a photo of yourself and describe the following:
1. Your current situation, your experience with sugar relationships, and why you’re looking for a SD.
2. Why you have chosen the destination and what do you plan to do when you get there.
3. Why I should choose your entry.
What’s required if you win the grand prize:
- I will post your entry in the blog (edited to remove any personal info)
- Write about your experience of the trip in the blog.
- As a bonus, there is a possibility to meet me for lunch at a place and date to be determined.
All entries must be submitted by December 31st, 2010 and winners will be selected by January 7th, 2011. After I receive your entry I may contact you by email for clarification or request more information. Entries will be evaluated based on how compelling your story is, how original and creative your idea is, and how well you articulate yourself. It is not based on need or how sad your story is. The purpose of the photo is for me to put a face to the story, so the photo is not part of the evaluation.
I hope there will be a good number of entries because it wouldn’t be much of a contest if only a handful of SB’s entered. Therefore I reserve the right to not select a winner if there are less than 10 entries. And no, this contest is not a joke. Email me or post here if you have any questions or comments. Good luck everyone!
----------------------------------
Then I announced the winners as planned on January 7th, 2011:
Here are the results of “Name Your Destination” Contest…
I have reviewed all 13 entries in detail, sent follow up questions to the contestants and received some responses. Some entries are creative and compelling while others are entertaining and humorous. And some even admitted that they entered primarily to help other sugar sisters win. The destinations include Japan, UK, South Africa, New Zealand, NYC, LA, Vegas, Chicago, Hawaii, Florida, and DC.
There were several well written and compelling entries and it was very difficult to narrow down to 3 finalists. After much deliberation I’m happy to announce the following winners:
Grand Prize – LASB. She will receive one round trip airline ticket to Japan and $500.
Second Prize – Arcadia. She will receive $500.
Third Prize – Beach Girl. She will receive $200 in lieu of a monogrammed snuggie.
I’d like to thank all contestants for making an effort to submit their entry. I wish I could send everyone to their destination of choice but even a Guru has his limits. I’d also like to thank Arctic SD for providing the cash prizes and Yaz for inspiring the contest.
LASB is in the process of editing her entry to remove personal info so that it can be posted in the blog. As soon as she’s ready I’ll post it here.
--------------------------
Coming up, LASB's winning entry.
---------------------------
When Yaz said “I wish someone would buy me a ticket to (name of destination) just because”… It got me thinking… why not?
So let’s call it the “Name Your Destination” contest, and here are the rules.
1. Female SB’s who are not currently in a sugar relationship are eligible to enter. (don’t want to step on any SD’s toes)
2. Destination should be served by a major airline. (Timbuktu Air doesn’t count)
3. Have a flexible travel schedule. (if you can only travel during major holidays then you might be out of luck)
The grand prize is one round trip airline ticket to the destination of the winner’s choice with the travel schedule to be mutually agreed, plus 500 cash. The second prize is 500 cash. The third prize is a monogrammed snuggie. Thanks to Arctic SD for providing the cash portion of the prizes.
How to enter:
Email me at the addy in my blog. Include a photo of yourself and describe the following:
1. Your current situation, your experience with sugar relationships, and why you’re looking for a SD.
2. Why you have chosen the destination and what do you plan to do when you get there.
3. Why I should choose your entry.
What’s required if you win the grand prize:
- I will post your entry in the blog (edited to remove any personal info)
- Write about your experience of the trip in the blog.
- As a bonus, there is a possibility to meet me for lunch at a place and date to be determined.
All entries must be submitted by December 31st, 2010 and winners will be selected by January 7th, 2011. After I receive your entry I may contact you by email for clarification or request more information. Entries will be evaluated based on how compelling your story is, how original and creative your idea is, and how well you articulate yourself. It is not based on need or how sad your story is. The purpose of the photo is for me to put a face to the story, so the photo is not part of the evaluation.
I hope there will be a good number of entries because it wouldn’t be much of a contest if only a handful of SB’s entered. Therefore I reserve the right to not select a winner if there are less than 10 entries. And no, this contest is not a joke. Email me or post here if you have any questions or comments. Good luck everyone!
----------------------------------
Then I announced the winners as planned on January 7th, 2011:
Here are the results of “Name Your Destination” Contest…
I have reviewed all 13 entries in detail, sent follow up questions to the contestants and received some responses. Some entries are creative and compelling while others are entertaining and humorous. And some even admitted that they entered primarily to help other sugar sisters win. The destinations include Japan, UK, South Africa, New Zealand, NYC, LA, Vegas, Chicago, Hawaii, Florida, and DC.
There were several well written and compelling entries and it was very difficult to narrow down to 3 finalists. After much deliberation I’m happy to announce the following winners:
Grand Prize – LASB. She will receive one round trip airline ticket to Japan and $500.
Second Prize – Arcadia. She will receive $500.
Third Prize – Beach Girl. She will receive $200 in lieu of a monogrammed snuggie.
I’d like to thank all contestants for making an effort to submit their entry. I wish I could send everyone to their destination of choice but even a Guru has his limits. I’d also like to thank Arctic SD for providing the cash prizes and Yaz for inspiring the contest.
LASB is in the process of editing her entry to remove personal info so that it can be posted in the blog. As soon as she’s ready I’ll post it here.
--------------------------
Coming up, LASB's winning entry.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sex, Money, and Sugar - Part 4
Part 4 - Trust, Allowance, and Intimacy
One of the most often mentioned conundrums in the sugar world is which comes first, the allowance or the intimacy?? While that's an easy question to ask, there is a wide variety of opinions and there is no one size fits all approach. We all do what we’re comfortable with based on our experiences and risk tolerance. While one contemplates the issue of allowance and intimacy, the most important factor to consider is "trust". It's important to remember that trust is earned and built over time, it shouldn't be assumed or given haphazardly.
Let's look at various approaches to allowance and intimacy from the SD's point of view and see the implications.
1. "There is no way in the world I will give someone a half month up front or anywhere close to that early."
This is a more risk averse approach for the SD's. But the trade off is that some pot SB’s may not be open to this approach by taking on more risk on their end.
2. "I’ve always agreed with those who say half the allowance up front, before intimacy, is a reasonable compromise. That way if the thing quickly fizzles out due to poofing or otherwise, it is not a complete loss for either."
There is more risk taking on the part of the SD and he is willing to take on the potential loss. Poofing or non-performance by the SB (or SD) is always annoying, but perhaps it’s less annoying when only half of the allowance is at risk.
3. I pay it forward, it really builds trust very quickly. Having the financial discussion is difficult for some people, by paying it forward it makes both of you feel comfortable and get the discussion out of the way quickly and simply.
The SD is taking on most of the risk in this case by paying the allowance in advance and trusting the pot SB to do her part. But how does one know for sure if the pot SB will actually do what she said she'll do, and what if she doesn't?
The allowance-intimacy issue comes down to whatever the two people involved can agree on, much like any arrangement. The best result from any relationship is where both parties invest in the relationship, and to a certain extent, take chances. This way there is an element of commitment from both parties by investing their time, money, and effort. The word “mutual” in mutually beneficial also applies to how both parties are willing to invest and take chances to build trust in the relationship.
We all want to be treated with the same respect and trust we’ve shown to others. However, in the sugar world, common sense and common courtesy may not be so common after all. In the risk-reward equation, there are people on either side of the spectrum ranging from risk averse to taking unnecessary risks. I can’t imagine there could be much success on either side of the spectrum, so what usually works is somewhere in the middle in terms of taking risks in a prudent manner by both sides. And as I said in the beginning, there is no one size fits all approach and we all do what we’re comfortable with based on our experiences and risk tolerance.
Coming up - Part 5, First Meet and Beyond
One of the most often mentioned conundrums in the sugar world is which comes first, the allowance or the intimacy?? While that's an easy question to ask, there is a wide variety of opinions and there is no one size fits all approach. We all do what we’re comfortable with based on our experiences and risk tolerance. While one contemplates the issue of allowance and intimacy, the most important factor to consider is "trust". It's important to remember that trust is earned and built over time, it shouldn't be assumed or given haphazardly.
Let's look at various approaches to allowance and intimacy from the SD's point of view and see the implications.
1. "There is no way in the world I will give someone a half month up front or anywhere close to that early."
This is a more risk averse approach for the SD's. But the trade off is that some pot SB’s may not be open to this approach by taking on more risk on their end.
2. "I’ve always agreed with those who say half the allowance up front, before intimacy, is a reasonable compromise. That way if the thing quickly fizzles out due to poofing or otherwise, it is not a complete loss for either."
There is more risk taking on the part of the SD and he is willing to take on the potential loss. Poofing or non-performance by the SB (or SD) is always annoying, but perhaps it’s less annoying when only half of the allowance is at risk.
3. I pay it forward, it really builds trust very quickly. Having the financial discussion is difficult for some people, by paying it forward it makes both of you feel comfortable and get the discussion out of the way quickly and simply.
The SD is taking on most of the risk in this case by paying the allowance in advance and trusting the pot SB to do her part. But how does one know for sure if the pot SB will actually do what she said she'll do, and what if she doesn't?
The allowance-intimacy issue comes down to whatever the two people involved can agree on, much like any arrangement. The best result from any relationship is where both parties invest in the relationship, and to a certain extent, take chances. This way there is an element of commitment from both parties by investing their time, money, and effort. The word “mutual” in mutually beneficial also applies to how both parties are willing to invest and take chances to build trust in the relationship.
We all want to be treated with the same respect and trust we’ve shown to others. However, in the sugar world, common sense and common courtesy may not be so common after all. In the risk-reward equation, there are people on either side of the spectrum ranging from risk averse to taking unnecessary risks. I can’t imagine there could be much success on either side of the spectrum, so what usually works is somewhere in the middle in terms of taking risks in a prudent manner by both sides. And as I said in the beginning, there is no one size fits all approach and we all do what we’re comfortable with based on our experiences and risk tolerance.
Coming up - Part 5, First Meet and Beyond
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sex, Money, and Sugar - Part 3
Part 3 - Escorts vs SB's
This is another popular topic in the sugar world. When sex and money are involved some people take a black and white view, while others understand there can be many shades of grays.
What constitutes an escort
Many years ago when I dealt with escorts on a regular basis it was pretty clear to me what constitutes an escort. They advertise their services with clearly defined rates and there is no screening other than for safety. It was easy to arrange an appointment and there was no need to consider mutual attraction, compatibility and chemistry so just about anyone who can pay the advertised rate can do it. To really get what I want in terms of looks and services it took some work to research escort reviews to make sure my money was well spent.
In general there are three factors that characterize escorts.
- Volume. Escorts tend to have sex with a larger number of men.
- Availability. Escorts will usually have sex with just about anyone who can pay their asking rate.
- Service. Escort's service level (ie what she is willing to do) is usually well documented through reviews. I understand YMMV, but most of the time it's fairly consistent and replicable.
So, just because sex and money are involved in a particular situation, does that automatically make the woman an escort? Apply the criteria I described above and see where she fits.
Pro vs non Pro attitude
Instead of escort vs SB, I prefer to look at it as pro vs non pro. It's more about the attitude or mentality of the woman and less about what the arrangement is or what she does for a living.
A pro attitude means that she values money as the most important criteria. There are other factors she'll consider but it still comes down to money. For example, a typical stripper or VIP hostess type who is not an escort can still have a pro mentality. They think in terms of how much they can make a night working without having sex with anyone, then argue why should they take the same or less money to have sex with someone. With this type of attitude they will typically look for the highest bidder and there is usually a clear linkage between money and performance.
A non pro attitude means that while money is an important factor, it's not the most important one. She will take other factors into consideration such as chemistry, attraction, compatibility, etc. She usually thinks about money in terms of what she needs and not what the perceived "market rate" is. If the money offered suites her needs and she likes who she's spending time with, then that's good enough for her. They don't go to the highest bidder because they don't necessarily think of putting a price on what they do. There is less direct linkage between money and performance.
Also, their attitude may not be related to their experience level or what they do for a living. There are newbie SB's who will approach it with a pro attitude thinking if they're going to do it at all then they want to get the most money possible, while other newbies have no clue what they want and what they're willing to do. There are some escorts on SD sites who will approach it with a non pro attitude as well.
The Escort Fallacy
It's not unusual to see some SBs compare themselves to escort rates for their allowance expectations. Their thinking is if an escort can get $X / Hour or $Y / Day, then surely they're worth a lot more. While that thinking may appear to be reasonable and logical, from a SD’s perspective it’s really counter productive. Being a SD means that we’re not looking to pay by the hour or by the day for an one time trasnaction. That’s what escorts are for. We’re looking for someone we enjoy being with and care about to build an on-going relationship. And on top of that we're willing to provide the financial assistance she needs to make her life easier and reach her goals.
If a SB wants to be paid the equivalent of an hourly or daily rate, then that could really turn some SD's off so I’d suggest they don’t get into the “escort fallacy”. A better way is to think about what your needs and goals are and explain that clearly to the SD and let him know your expectations. If a SD’s offer does not meet your expectation, then simply thank him for his time, decline his offer and move on. There is no need to justify a SB's "worth" by comparing herself to escorts. I'm not saying SB's doesn't "deserve" more than escorts, I'm just saying there are better ways to convince a SD of your "worth" than comparing yourself to escorts.
Coming up, Part 4 - Trust, Allowance, and Intimacy
This is another popular topic in the sugar world. When sex and money are involved some people take a black and white view, while others understand there can be many shades of grays.
What constitutes an escort
Many years ago when I dealt with escorts on a regular basis it was pretty clear to me what constitutes an escort. They advertise their services with clearly defined rates and there is no screening other than for safety. It was easy to arrange an appointment and there was no need to consider mutual attraction, compatibility and chemistry so just about anyone who can pay the advertised rate can do it. To really get what I want in terms of looks and services it took some work to research escort reviews to make sure my money was well spent.
In general there are three factors that characterize escorts.
- Volume. Escorts tend to have sex with a larger number of men.
- Availability. Escorts will usually have sex with just about anyone who can pay their asking rate.
- Service. Escort's service level (ie what she is willing to do) is usually well documented through reviews. I understand YMMV, but most of the time it's fairly consistent and replicable.
So, just because sex and money are involved in a particular situation, does that automatically make the woman an escort? Apply the criteria I described above and see where she fits.
Pro vs non Pro attitude
Instead of escort vs SB, I prefer to look at it as pro vs non pro. It's more about the attitude or mentality of the woman and less about what the arrangement is or what she does for a living.
A pro attitude means that she values money as the most important criteria. There are other factors she'll consider but it still comes down to money. For example, a typical stripper or VIP hostess type who is not an escort can still have a pro mentality. They think in terms of how much they can make a night working without having sex with anyone, then argue why should they take the same or less money to have sex with someone. With this type of attitude they will typically look for the highest bidder and there is usually a clear linkage between money and performance.
A non pro attitude means that while money is an important factor, it's not the most important one. She will take other factors into consideration such as chemistry, attraction, compatibility, etc. She usually thinks about money in terms of what she needs and not what the perceived "market rate" is. If the money offered suites her needs and she likes who she's spending time with, then that's good enough for her. They don't go to the highest bidder because they don't necessarily think of putting a price on what they do. There is less direct linkage between money and performance.
Also, their attitude may not be related to their experience level or what they do for a living. There are newbie SB's who will approach it with a pro attitude thinking if they're going to do it at all then they want to get the most money possible, while other newbies have no clue what they want and what they're willing to do. There are some escorts on SD sites who will approach it with a non pro attitude as well.
The Escort Fallacy
It's not unusual to see some SBs compare themselves to escort rates for their allowance expectations. Their thinking is if an escort can get $X / Hour or $Y / Day, then surely they're worth a lot more. While that thinking may appear to be reasonable and logical, from a SD’s perspective it’s really counter productive. Being a SD means that we’re not looking to pay by the hour or by the day for an one time trasnaction. That’s what escorts are for. We’re looking for someone we enjoy being with and care about to build an on-going relationship. And on top of that we're willing to provide the financial assistance she needs to make her life easier and reach her goals.
If a SB wants to be paid the equivalent of an hourly or daily rate, then that could really turn some SD's off so I’d suggest they don’t get into the “escort fallacy”. A better way is to think about what your needs and goals are and explain that clearly to the SD and let him know your expectations. If a SD’s offer does not meet your expectation, then simply thank him for his time, decline his offer and move on. There is no need to justify a SB's "worth" by comparing herself to escorts. I'm not saying SB's doesn't "deserve" more than escorts, I'm just saying there are better ways to convince a SD of your "worth" than comparing yourself to escorts.
Coming up, Part 4 - Trust, Allowance, and Intimacy
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Sex, Money, and Sugar - Part 2
Part 2 - Allowance in Real Dollar Terms
Allowance is one of the most popular topics in the sugar world and there is no shortage of opinion about it. Instead of passing judgment on what's fair and reasonable for what's offered or expected, I'd like to examine what it means to have an allowance in real dollar terms. This will take into account real world factors such as taxes and discretionary income and compare that to established benchmarks.
For example, according to the US Census Bureau, annual median household income in the US is $49k, top 5% starts at $157k, and top 1.5% starts at $250k. Keep these numbers in mind as we look at allowance expectations in real dollars terms by taking into account taxes and SD's discretionary income.
On seekingarrangement.com a SB can indicate the amount of expected allowance in her profile. Let's look at what it means to have $1k, $3k, $5k, and $10k per month. And for illustration purpose let's assume a tax rate of 35% since SD's should be high income individuals.
$1k/month - $12k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $17k before tax.
$3k/month - $36k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $51k before tax. Note this is already higher than the median household income.
$5k/month - $60k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $86k before tax. Note this is more than one and a half times of the median, or more than half the amount of what the top 5% makes.
$10k/month - $120k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $171k before tax. Note this will put you in the top 5% of all US households.
Now that we have put those numbers in perspective, let's realistically think about what are the chances of finding SD's who can provide that kind of allowance as part of their discretionary income. For illustration purpose, let's assume a SD has 20% of his gross income available to spend on a SB. This means the SD should have an income of five times the amount he provides to the SB. Keep in mind this is his total spending on a SB, for which the allowance may only be a part of. This percentage may vary based on each SD's situation such as whether he's single or married.
$1k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $85k per year, this is already way above the median income.
$3k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $255k per year, this is already in the top 1.5%.
$5k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $430k per year.
$10k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $855k per year.
The analysis shown was for illustration purpose only. One can use different assumptions about tax rates and discretionary income to come up with different figures. But realistically, how many wealthy men can we expect from the top 1% to sign up on one of these web sites and are serious about being a SD and part with their money?? Think about what kind of work or business the SD should be in to make that kind of money, where they're located, their age and marital status, and what kind of SB they'd be looking for. Will the top 1% of SD's look for an "average" SB, or would they look for the top 1% in SB's as well? What kind of a "real" job would a SB have to get in order to make the equivalent of the allowance she is seeking?
I'm not passing judgment on what people are looking for or what they expect, and I know there are success stories across the spectrum. I'm just applying a straight forward analysis to help those in the sugar world to have a realistic view.
Coming up - Part 3, Escorts vs SB's
Allowance is one of the most popular topics in the sugar world and there is no shortage of opinion about it. Instead of passing judgment on what's fair and reasonable for what's offered or expected, I'd like to examine what it means to have an allowance in real dollar terms. This will take into account real world factors such as taxes and discretionary income and compare that to established benchmarks.
For example, according to the US Census Bureau, annual median household income in the US is $49k, top 5% starts at $157k, and top 1.5% starts at $250k. Keep these numbers in mind as we look at allowance expectations in real dollars terms by taking into account taxes and SD's discretionary income.
On seekingarrangement.com a SB can indicate the amount of expected allowance in her profile. Let's look at what it means to have $1k, $3k, $5k, and $10k per month. And for illustration purpose let's assume a tax rate of 35% since SD's should be high income individuals.
$1k/month - $12k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $17k before tax.
$3k/month - $36k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $51k before tax. Note this is already higher than the median household income.
$5k/month - $60k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $86k before tax. Note this is more than one and a half times of the median, or more than half the amount of what the top 5% makes.
$10k/month - $120k per year after tax or the equivalent of about $171k before tax. Note this will put you in the top 5% of all US households.
Now that we have put those numbers in perspective, let's realistically think about what are the chances of finding SD's who can provide that kind of allowance as part of their discretionary income. For illustration purpose, let's assume a SD has 20% of his gross income available to spend on a SB. This means the SD should have an income of five times the amount he provides to the SB. Keep in mind this is his total spending on a SB, for which the allowance may only be a part of. This percentage may vary based on each SD's situation such as whether he's single or married.
$1k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $85k per year, this is already way above the median income.
$3k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $255k per year, this is already in the top 1.5%.
$5k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $430k per year.
$10k/month - The SD would need to have a gross income of $855k per year.
The analysis shown was for illustration purpose only. One can use different assumptions about tax rates and discretionary income to come up with different figures. But realistically, how many wealthy men can we expect from the top 1% to sign up on one of these web sites and are serious about being a SD and part with their money?? Think about what kind of work or business the SD should be in to make that kind of money, where they're located, their age and marital status, and what kind of SB they'd be looking for. Will the top 1% of SD's look for an "average" SB, or would they look for the top 1% in SB's as well? What kind of a "real" job would a SB have to get in order to make the equivalent of the allowance she is seeking?
I'm not passing judgment on what people are looking for or what they expect, and I know there are success stories across the spectrum. I'm just applying a straight forward analysis to help those in the sugar world to have a realistic view.
Coming up - Part 3, Escorts vs SB's
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sex, Money, and Sugar - Part 1
I'll take a break from telling stories to start a multi-part series titled "Sex, Money, and Sugar" to discuss the intricate nature between sex and money in a sugar relationship.
Part 1 - SD's income/wealth/budget vs SB's expected allowance
On sa.com a SD's profile includes information about his income, net worth, and budget for an arrangement, and a SB's profile includes her expected allowance. But like everything else on the internet, keep in mind anyone can create a profile and put whatever they want in it. Therefore it's probably not a good idea to take everything you see at face value and assume the information is accurate.
I usually look at whatever is listed for expected allowance in SB profiles with a grain of salt. There are SB’s who consider the amount of allowance as their most important criteria and therefore will not be flexible. And there are SB’s who will consider the amount of allowance along with other factors and are willing to be flexible. Then there are SB’s who purposely put a large amount to weed out the undesirables but are willing to consider less from the right SD. You won’t know which type you’re dealing with until you have a dialog with them. Once you figure out what you’re dealing with then you can proceed accordingly.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SD’s to learn. That is, the amount of allowance may not be directly related to the quality of relationship and experience. A higher allowance can usually get you younger and hotter arm candy, but there is no guarantee for a better experience. For example, would you have better chemistry with a SB because she is asking for a higher allowance? Or, would a SB asking for a higher allowance be more reliable?
Likewise, I’d suggest SB’s to look at a SD’s listed income/net worth with a grain of salt. Some SD’s purposely under state it because they don’t want pot SB’s to have unrealistic expectations. Some SD’s purposely over state it to attract SB’s that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to attract.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SB’s to learn. That is, a SD’s wealth, income, and lifestyle may not directly relate to how generous and how willing he is to provide an allowance. He has to be able and willing to do so. Some wealthy men are willing to spend lots of money on fine dining, travel, and gifts because they think sharing a piece of their lifestyle is good enough to be a SD. But when it comes to providing an allowance they think there is a stigma associated with it as if they’re too good to be “paying” for a SB. Therefore, for SB's who are looking for an allowance, these wealthy men will just end up wasting their time.
Coming up - Part 2, Allowance in Real Dollar Terms
Part 1 - SD's income/wealth/budget vs SB's expected allowance
On sa.com a SD's profile includes information about his income, net worth, and budget for an arrangement, and a SB's profile includes her expected allowance. But like everything else on the internet, keep in mind anyone can create a profile and put whatever they want in it. Therefore it's probably not a good idea to take everything you see at face value and assume the information is accurate.
I usually look at whatever is listed for expected allowance in SB profiles with a grain of salt. There are SB’s who consider the amount of allowance as their most important criteria and therefore will not be flexible. And there are SB’s who will consider the amount of allowance along with other factors and are willing to be flexible. Then there are SB’s who purposely put a large amount to weed out the undesirables but are willing to consider less from the right SD. You won’t know which type you’re dealing with until you have a dialog with them. Once you figure out what you’re dealing with then you can proceed accordingly.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SD’s to learn. That is, the amount of allowance may not be directly related to the quality of relationship and experience. A higher allowance can usually get you younger and hotter arm candy, but there is no guarantee for a better experience. For example, would you have better chemistry with a SB because she is asking for a higher allowance? Or, would a SB asking for a higher allowance be more reliable?
Likewise, I’d suggest SB’s to look at a SD’s listed income/net worth with a grain of salt. Some SD’s purposely under state it because they don’t want pot SB’s to have unrealistic expectations. Some SD’s purposely over state it to attract SB’s that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to attract.
Here's one of the most counter intuitive lessons for SB’s to learn. That is, a SD’s wealth, income, and lifestyle may not directly relate to how generous and how willing he is to provide an allowance. He has to be able and willing to do so. Some wealthy men are willing to spend lots of money on fine dining, travel, and gifts because they think sharing a piece of their lifestyle is good enough to be a SD. But when it comes to providing an allowance they think there is a stigma associated with it as if they’re too good to be “paying” for a SB. Therefore, for SB's who are looking for an allowance, these wealthy men will just end up wasting their time.
Coming up - Part 2, Allowance in Real Dollar Terms
Friday, October 22, 2010
The Sugar Triangle - Part 5
Part 5 - The Happy Ending?
I thought after Bob sent Alice packing that was the end of it but then two weeks later she sent me this email:
Just thought I'd update you with the latest in the saga. I'm not trying to start an argument, pass judgment, nor seeking advice. Just a friendly, "Have you heard" kinda exchange.
I typically don't put much stock in rumors, however the information comes from what I consider to be a reliable source (at least as reliable as the information you presented which was close enough). The two that have provided this information are fairly close to her and are evidently part of the wedding party.
She had her day in court and is now officially divorced form her husband. The SD and SB are now planning a fall wedding with all the trimmings complete with a honeymoon in the Caribbean. They are in the process of closing on a multi-million dollar estate in a gated community near her.
Their profiles are removed from the SD site so they evidently are not looking or wanting contact from others looking. (Unless they have changed their IDs and are there under another name). When I called him to say hello, the answering machine message now includes a "we" as part of the message.
I guess their feelings were real and they both were looking for an exclusive relationship after all. Time will tell if they do in fact go through with things and last. Have you heard anything? Are you still seeing her? Just thought I'd drop this one on you and see what else you knew.
Hope things are well with you!
Apparently there were people who were more in the know than I was. I found the rumor hard to believe, but if it's true then good luck to them!!
However, more than a year later I found out Crystal was back on the SD site and flew out to meet with a SD friend of mine. It's a very small world indeed! So I guess the happy ending for Bob and Crystal, if there was one, was short lived. There was no word on what happened to Alice.
The end.
I thought after Bob sent Alice packing that was the end of it but then two weeks later she sent me this email:
Just thought I'd update you with the latest in the saga. I'm not trying to start an argument, pass judgment, nor seeking advice. Just a friendly, "Have you heard" kinda exchange.
I typically don't put much stock in rumors, however the information comes from what I consider to be a reliable source (at least as reliable as the information you presented which was close enough). The two that have provided this information are fairly close to her and are evidently part of the wedding party.
She had her day in court and is now officially divorced form her husband. The SD and SB are now planning a fall wedding with all the trimmings complete with a honeymoon in the Caribbean. They are in the process of closing on a multi-million dollar estate in a gated community near her.
Their profiles are removed from the SD site so they evidently are not looking or wanting contact from others looking. (Unless they have changed their IDs and are there under another name). When I called him to say hello, the answering machine message now includes a "we" as part of the message.
I guess their feelings were real and they both were looking for an exclusive relationship after all. Time will tell if they do in fact go through with things and last. Have you heard anything? Are you still seeing her? Just thought I'd drop this one on you and see what else you knew.
Hope things are well with you!
Apparently there were people who were more in the know than I was. I found the rumor hard to believe, but if it's true then good luck to them!!
However, more than a year later I found out Crystal was back on the SD site and flew out to meet with a SD friend of mine. It's a very small world indeed! So I guess the happy ending for Bob and Crystal, if there was one, was short lived. There was no word on what happened to Alice.
The end.
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