Part 6 - Getting emotionally involved for the last time
The story of "Mixing Love and Sugar" set me back emotionally for quite a while but eventually I got over it and moved on. But it still didn't prepare me for what happened a year later. My second "long term" SB was in her mid twenty's at the time and it was a long distance relationship. We met about twice a month for six months. During the first three months it was a combination of allowance and gifts, but after that she became more interested in having a steady allowance so for the next three months I went to an allowance only arrangement. It was the first time that I provided an on-going allowance and it marked a turning point in my thinking as I gradually went away from the gift/travel aspect and focused more on allowance only.
After a great start where she behaved more like a caring and loving girlfriend who was genuinely interested in me as a person, the relationship became full of drama and spiraled out of control and I had to end it during a trip to the Caribbean. She turned out to be a conniving, manipulative drama queen and an escort wannabe who was looking for the highest bidder. Why I didn't see the train wreck coming was beyond me, and I should have heeded the advice of others and ended it sooner. I'll write about the story of our breakup titled "The Last Hurrah" next.
Another turning point in my thinking was that I completely gave up on the "emotional involvement" aspect of being a SD. I was not very good at making things last long term at the time (ie more than 6 months) nor being able to handle the emotional attachment when it develops. So why make it harder on myself and be miserable when I should just focus on having fun and enjoy the NSA aspect of a sugar relationship.
At about this time sugar dating started to become part of popular culture with plenty of exposure in the main stream media. And the popularity of sugardaddy dating sites increased dramatically with a huge number of new members signing up every day. As a result, I stopped searching all over the country and fly in potential SB's for a first meeting because of the costs and risks involved as I have explained previously. Instead, I focused on searching locally and at the places I travel to regularly for business. With an abundance of new pot SB's available I had to narrow my demographic criteria to make the search more manageable. Then as sugardaddie.com evolved into more of a regular dating site, I transitioned to seekingarrangement.com when it came on the scene and it would eventually become my primary source to search for pot SB's.
Coming up - Where I am today
Gutted that she was coniving and manipulative. youve had some sore luck it seems.
ReplyDeleteThere is an element of highest bidder though,surely?
Even with good chemistry- if a guy cant meet a min allowance figure- im not going there. I think this is fair aswell. My last Sd was married- I think not compensating well is a selfish trait. I've never slept with a man im dating until he commits to me .. so ..why would i sleep with a sugar daddy who wasnt makign a financial commitment large enough to compensate.
having said this ive turned down big allowances because theres no chemistry. You need both
I think there is a big difference between requiring a minimum vs looking for the highest bidder. The latter implies that money is the most important criteria above all else. In that case a SD has to ask himself whether that type of SB is a good match for him.
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