Mixing Love and Sugar - Part 5

Part 5 - The Dear John Letter

After I got back from Chicago I couldn't be any happier and I was really looking forward to our next trip to the Caribbean. Then she dropped a bomb on me three days after we said our goodbyes in Chicago.

She sent me a "Dear John" letter to let me know that her husband found out about the affair. Even though she said she is not in a happy marriage, they decided to reconcile and make it work. She won't be able to see me or contact me anymore because her husband will keep a close eye on her activities such as her email and cell phone calls. Keep in mind that she had told me this is the second affair she had in her marriage, and the first started shortly after she got married. She said she found out her husband was also having an affair when she was seeing me. I can't believe they would want to stay together and make the effort given the history of their infidelity.

For a few days my head was in a fog and I couldn't eat or sleep. I felt disappointed, sad, upset, angry, and hurt. I can't believe how something so wonderful could have ended so suddenly. But even though she broke my heart, I thought it might be for the best and I should respect her decision and support her effort to make her marriage work.

Here are excerpts from her "Dear John" letter:

To make a long story short....... hubby got home early while I was still out, jumped on the computer to check his e-mails AND found my email account. So you can imagine how horrible it was when I got home. Fortunately he did not have much time to read my emails from you..... but he now knows about Chicago, Seattle, and my next trip with you!!!!

So in a nut shell, last night was filled with tears, anger, sadness, yelling, arguing, and then finally some rational talk at the end. He admitted to me that he had begun seeing someone. Apparently, they have been sexually active and dating for the past 3.5 months! Not a complete shock to me, but definitely hard to take.

Once we were able to rationally speak to one another we actually had a good talk. We discussed separation, but to be honest with you, we both get very sad at the idea of parting ways. We determined that we would give this marriage a whole-hearted shot and try to work things out. This of course is sad for me, because I know that it means no longer speaking with you. This is very hard for me to do, but I know that my husband deserves one last perfect attempt at saving our marriage. I'm sure this is all coming as a shock to you, but I believe it is what I want to try to do. We are both a little crazy for trying to give this another shot, but I think it is worth a try."

I hope that you can understand my decision to give my marriage a devoted attempt. I cannot begin to tell you how much I have enjoyed our time together and the way you made me feel. If the circumstances were different, I would love to explore where our relationship would go. I hope this does not come as a complete shock to you, although I'm sure it is not the e-mail message you wanted to receive in your inbox. I changed my e-mail password, so hopefully I can at least communicate with you via e-mail and get your feedback."

I am nervous to hear back from you...... but I hope that you can respect the direction my situation is headed in. We plan on attending a couples retreat for marriage counseling. Thank you for all the joys you have given me. If this last attempt with my husband does not work out, you will be the first one to know.

Keep smiling and keep in touch, ok?

Love,

Coming up - What's wrong with this picture?