I came across Caribbean Princess's blog over the weekend and I was shocked to see her horror story about a meeting with pot SD gone bad. You can see her story here and here.
Instead of feeling shock and anger at what happened and calling her pot all sorts of names, my initial reaction was different from most of the comments to her story. There are plenty of horror stories like hers in the blogs, and there are lots of travel safety tips available (for example, see here and here), and yet it still happened despite all the experienced SD/SB friends she had. I just don't get it. I'm in no way condoning what happened to her. I'm shocked at why it had to happen in the first place!
She made some rookie mistakes that were avoidable as others have pointed out, and of course there is no excuse for what he did. I thought I'd provide an analysis based on what she wrote to explore different aspects of the situation. I don't have as much history and background about her as others, and I'm analyzing the situation with the benefit of hindsight, but I hope this is still useful.
1. Why such a long first meeting?
I understood the premise of the first meeting is for him to travel a long distance to visit her and spend a couple of days in her city, and then travel together to an island resort for a few days. Here's what I wrote about first meetings in "Evolution of a Sugardaddy - Part 3"
I've seen many blog stories about first meetings that were planned to last several days, but then it usually ends up in disappointment. To spend that much time with someone you're meeting for the first time is usually not a good idea because too many things can go wrong. It can also cause expectations and pressure to develop and make the situation uncomfortable. What if the person is not as advertised in the profile or the chemistry isn't there? It's not uncommon to think everything will go well before a first meeting only to find out that's not the case.
So the obvious problem is that the first meeting is way too long. A more prudent approach would be to meet only in her city and not travel to somewhere else. With a long and elaborate first meeting it means that the pot SD has invested a lot of time and money in this trip in addition to the gifts/allowance, which may cause his expectations to become unrealistic no matter what she did. Another problem is that even if the first meeting went well, the longer term prospect is questionable at best due to the distance involved. Did they discuss what might happen beyond the first meeting? Is it realistic to think that it could become an on-going relationship despite the distance?
2. Early warning signs.
"he said he was having second thoughts about spending his last evening in my city,and perhaps he could take a flight straight from the island to Miami."
It's not a good sign when he was already thinking about an early exit. Despite how well she thought the meeting was going, it implies that something didn't meet his expectations (was it about her physical appearance, personality, sex, or something else?).
"He did asked me to stop asking him if he was having a good time,to just relax and have fun. I just had an odd feeling but I couldnt point what was going on."
It appears that for whatever reason she was getting on his nerves during the trip (maybe she was trying too hard to please?), he couldn't take it anymore and finally had to tell her. This may have kept on building during the rest of the trip to the point where he started to act irrationally.
Coming up in Part 2 - "Everything was NOT ok", and "What's sex got to do with it?
Why such a long meeting? actually it was his idea. I suggested one evening in my city, allowing me to taste the waters before embarking in a trip to the island. I suggested 2 days or 3 at the most in the island, sort of a long weekend together. He somehow said, planing in such long (meaning miles) trip he wanted to spend more days together. So I naturally said, ok..fine. Sounded fair.
ReplyDeleteYes, we ha discussed that we would meet and see where it could lead, if things were not good ( mutually benefitial) if anything we would have make a great traveling buddy team.
Yes, maybe I did tried to hard, but right after he asked me to just relax and have a good time, that everything was perfect and satisfactory, I apologized for making him uncomfortable and we moved on. I cant remember how many times he mentioned " you are such a good lover" "you are indeed such a good person" "if anyone has to feel lucky about all this experience is me"
My conclusion after all the over reading my own blog and comments, either he was dissapointed despite all my efforts I couldnt help him keep up his erection and finish or the fact that I got my period 2 days before his departure. In the last scenario, I made sure he was highly pleased by other means. Still, I take full responsibility for this failed journey. Im not saying I am to blame entirely, but I didnt see through it. I treated him with all respect and care as I would've wanted to be treated. Thanks for taking the time to write this blog entry. I sure hope my story helps others NOT to make the mistakes I did.xoxo
Thanks for shedding some more light on your story. I think your conclusion is probably pretty close to reality. As you'll see in my analysis, I think this meeting was doomed to fail from the start despite the best intentions and efforts of the people involved. You've been very mature in dealing with the situation, which is more than I can say for him!
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