Part 4 - All good things must come to an end
The relationship with my first long term SB came to an end after about six months. It ended because she became more interested in only what I can do for her, and she also had a boyfriend that became more serious than she led on. It didn't help that I started to fall for her and I felt I was subsidizing their relationship since her bf was not able to provide for her. The chemistry and magic slowly faded and it didn't end amicably because she was used to the lifestyle I was providing and didn't want to give it up. She ended up blackmailing me and it was a very messy breakup. I will write more about this story in the future.
After being a gift/travel SD for six months and end up being blackmailed, what did I learn?
1. Don't get emotionally involved, especially for a married man. At some point you start to care too much and that's not necessarily a good thing.
2. Things do come to an end and it's usually sooner than expected. Despite the best intentions on both sides, you just never know how things will play out so you have to be mentally ready for it to end.
3. Keep the relationship simple, so that when it does end it can end cleanly without complications.
4. Be very careful with my personal information. You never know what someone will do with that info, even if it's someone you thought you could trust. As a married family man in the corporate world, I have too much to lose if I'm not careful with my personal info.
Coming up - Getting emotionally involved again!
I've never understood the girls that decide that blackmailing a man that they chose to be with is their right once the relationship has ended. I've read so many blogs and status updates where the girl is happy that they have that option and proud of the fact that they blackmailed someone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but you're one half of a bad equation. What makes you any better than the man that chose to cheat, and what gives you the right to not honour the relationship once it has ended? "He doesn't deserve to be a congressman because he broke up with me" or "He doesn't deserve to have his kids full time because he broke up with me". But he did deserve those things while he was with you? It's childish, it's immature, and it puts the rest of us in a really bad light.
Blackmail is nasty. I'm sorry it happened to you SD Guru :(
ReplyDeleteIn my line of work, I have heard that tons of escorts tell clients their real names. And I don't understand it, they advertise under a pseudonym, and then just give away their name when they get paid? It's nonsense.
I have never felt the need to tell someone my name or any personal info. It doesn't change anything, but put everything at risk.
My question: Did you decide to give a 'made up' name from that point forward? How would you feel if an SB gave you a fake name?
Sexy Sadie :)
Unfortunately I've been blackmailed more than once. And each time it's because my personal info got out inadvertently, such as my full name, home address and phone number, and place of employment.
ReplyDeleteSome SD's are of the opinion that sharing personal information is necessary in order to build trust and enhance the emotional connection. I respectfully disagree with that approach and that's why I use a "nickname" and have google voice.
I don't mind if a SB doesn't use her real name. But sometimes you can't avoid it if I have to arrange travel for her.
Wow-
ReplyDeleteI really do get annoyed with the women who came before who screw it up for the up and coming women- and this is in real life dating and Sugar dating. It sucks!
Having been blackmailed more than once do you feel that Sugar lifestyle is really worth the thrill or risks?
Did your wife ever find out? What did you have to do to get out of the blackmail situations?
(For a separate post do you currently have an SB and what is that relationship like?)
Most of what I'm describing in my blog happened years ago. During my first three years in the sugar lifestyle I went through a lot of learning experiences and it was very challenging. But I persevered and had much better experiences since then so I think it is worth the risks.
ReplyDeleteI never gave in to a blackmail situation and I was able to handle it without affecting my family. I'll write more about handling blackmail in the future.
As I've mentioned, during the first 3 years I only had 2 relationships that lasted six months. The rest were one and done's or fizzled out after a few meetings. Since then I had 3 relationships that lasted longer than a year. All I will say about my current situation is that I'm happy with the sugars I have and I'm glad I made the journey! :)