Friday, July 9, 2010

Sugar Dating vs Regular Dating

Most SD’s I know are not looking to “pay” for a girlfriend. What they’re willing to pay for is a NSA arrangement without the courtship, drama, games, and uncertainty in regular dating. They also don’t want SB’s who look at it as just a business transaction and are in it only for the money. There has to be chemistry, compatibility, common interests, etc for the relationship/arrangement to work and for it to last.

In regular dating, attractive women have lots of choices and they are hit on by men all the time hoping to win their affection and get a piece of the action. This implies in regular dating the demand for attractive women far exceeds the supply of men who are interested in them. And women definitely have the upper hand in choosing who they want to date.

But does this phenomenon apply to online sugar dating? It’s all too common for newbie SB’s to have unrealistic expectations about how long the search might take and what they will find. One of the reasons for such behavior, understandably, came from the perception that sugar dating is similar to regular dating. They think the demand for attractive SBs far exceeds the supply of SD’s willing to provide for them, and therefore they behave in a way that is consistent with that perception.  However, there are two key factors that make sugar dating different from regular dating.

First, the perception that there is a high demand for SB’s can be misleading. The problem is that the high demand could come from anyone who calls himself a SD and puts up a profile on one of the sites. It’s typical for a newbie SB to put up a profile with attractive pics and then be deluged with emails and offers from all over the place within the first few days. This creates an illusion of high demand which re-enforces their belief that it’s just like regular dating. But if the SB takes time to sort through the flakes, time wasters, pic collectors, etc., then sooner or later she will realize that genuine SD’s who are serious about having a sugar relationship are not that easy to find. And over time the interest slows down as the crowd chase after hundreds of new SB profiles created each day, especially after media exposure in one of the talk shows.

Second, in sugar dating the supply and demand is reversed. Genuine SD’s, especially those who are willing and able to provide steady financial support, are in short supply. These types of SD’s have plenty of potential SB’s to choose from and they can be very picky if they choose to be. This means that they don’t waste their valuable time to deal with SB’s who have an entitlement attitude. That kind of attitude may work in regular dating, but most likely it will not work in sugar dating. So if an attractive SB is looking for a regular date, she should have plenty of choices and can be very picky. But when it comes to finding a SD, she should think about how to differentiate herself from other SB’s and why a SD should choose her. It may be counter intuitive, but she will have a much better chance for success without the attitude. Of course common sense, common courtesy, and the usual safety measures still apply. Just because you’re looking for a SD it doesn’t mean you should let your guard down and be taken advantage of or submit yourself to a situation you’re not comfortable with.

In regular dating a woman can casually date many guys at her leisure, make her own schedule, and blow them off on a whim or change plans at the last minute if she wants. The guys won’t like it, but she's just dating them so what did they expect anyway. When an arrangement is in place for sugar dating, the SD may have expectations on when and how much time you spend with him. You have to work around his busy schedule (especially if he is married) and can’t just blow him off or change plans on a whim. Well, you can, but the arrangement won’t last long if you did. As a SB spreads herself too thin with too many SD's or for other reasons, her SD's may start to notice that she’s too busy for them and can’t be as available or as flexible with her time as before. It’s tough enough to make plans when one party has a busy schedule, it’s even tougher when both have busy schedules. Now throw travel into the mix and it’s exponentially more complex.

As usual there are exceptions and your own experience and individual cases may vary.

1 comment:

  1. I definitely agree with many of the things you've written here. I'm looking forward to more of your posts, and hearing the view from an SD with a different perspective.