Thursday, July 29, 2010

Why Wealthy Men Choose to be SD's

I got this question from a SB in the SeekingArrangement blog and I thought I'll share the answers here. 

Can you please run through some of the reasons to explain why a wealthy man may choose to become an SD? Which of these, if any, perhaps still applies to men with utter social mastery? 

Here's a bit of background on what prompted the question.  Some men said on the blog that they have exceptional social skills and can "get it for free by just showing up".  Therefore they don't see the point of being a SD and laugh at those who have to "pay for it".  My response is that being a SD is a choice.  There are men who can get it for free by just showing up but still choose to be a SD.  There are many reasons why wealthy men choose to become SD's, and in most cases it has nothing to do with their lack of social skills or ability to get it for free.

Here are some of the most common reasons:

1. Discretion. They like to keep their private life private. And of course if the SD is married then this goes without saying. Picking up random women at bars or VIP lounges in full view of others is not their style (just ask Tiger!). They expect the SB to keep it discreet as part of the arrangement.

2. No strings. The arrangement should set clear boundaries for both sides. Without it the line can be blurred and the relationship could head down a slippery slope emotionally (just ask Edwards!). The arrangement should prevent either party from having unrealistic expectations about the relationship.

3. Reliability. SD’s and SB’s are supposed to do what they said they will do according to the arrangement. And over time they will build trust and be reliable for each other. SD’s don’t like surprises when it comes to the reliability of their SB’s. Random hookups and one night stands may be fun, but it’s ultimately unreliable and risky (just ask Pitino!).

4. Longevity. It may not be easy to find the right SB in the right situation to have an arrangement that works. When a SD finds something that works well then it’s preferable to make it last versus keep on spending their valuable time to look for something that may or may not be better.

5. Generosity.  Men who choose to be SD's are generous by nature, and not just in a financial sense.  They can also be generous with their time, experience, wisdom, business savvy, and personal network.  They enjoy helping and guiding a SB to achieve her goals and aspirations. And they find satisfaction in knowing that she was able to reach a better position in life because of their efforts.


  1. Lovely post!

    You are missing another component

    Generosity - A lot of self made men enjoy helping out a hard working woman. They carefully select someone which brains and ambition and acheive great joy of seeing them excel. Some are just turned on being a generous benefactors... other just like that warm fuzzy feeling of taking care of a woman.

  2. You're absolutely right! Not sure why I left it off as I've often talked about that aspect of being a SD. I've updated the post to include it and thanks for your input!

  3. You forgot some of the SD get into this just to see how many SB's dresses they can blow off than disappear.

  4. If that's their motive then are they really SD's?