Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Married vs Single SD's

As a married SD I can certainly respect the preferences of SB’s. I’m always upfront about my marital status because I don’t intend to play games and pass off myself as single like some married men do. When given the opportunity I always explain why I’m looking for a sugar relationship and what I expect from it. I wouldn’t want anyone to compromise their beliefs or do something they’re not comfortable with for any reason.

There are several reasons why SB’s don’t want to be involved with a married SD. The most common ones I’ve heard include: it’s bad karma and it will come back to bite you one day, it’s against their upbringing and religious beliefs, not wanting to be a home wrecker or break up a marriage, and not to disrespect another woman. These are all good reasons. However, some women seem to pass judgment on married SD’s which I don’t think is necessary. Each person’s situation is different and everyone is doing it for his own reasons. I can’t speak for others, but in my case I’m not looking for my next wife or wanting to change the family life I have. So I think the respect for preferences should work both ways. This is especially true when I hear a SB say “I don’t want to be a home wrecker or break up a marriage.” And my response would be “what makes you think that will be the case?”

Having said that, why would a SB consider married SD’s at all? There are advantages and disadvantages depending what’s important to you and what you’re looking for. Generally speaking, married SD’s have their own busy life so they are usually not too demanding on a SB’s time. In addition, it should be discreet with clear boundaries that is typical of a “no strings, no drama” relationship. What a SB does on her own time should be her own business, and the same goes for the SD. And it’s not likely that a married SD will take his SB to public social functions or to meet his family and friends like a trophy girlfriend. The obvious downside to having a married SD is that the relationship would not develop into a traditional relationship with a happily ever after ending. And married SD’s may have limitations on their schedule due to work and family obligations so they are not available as often nor can be as spontaneous as the single ones.

Also, no strings and no drama doesn’t mean no feelings. When two people spend enough time together then naturally some feelings will develop. The key is how both sides manage those feelings to keep it under control as a no strings relationship. It takes maturity and experience to make it work.

It’s interesting to hear some SB’s talk about how they don’t want to get into a relationship with a SD who can become needy, clingy, possessive, controlling, insecure, and jealous which result in the kind of drama common in traditional relationships. And yet they don’t want to consider a married SD because of the reasons mentioned before. I think another way to look at it would be whether a relationship with single SD’s is more likely to have drama compared to married SD’s. Having a married SD doesn’t guarantee there will be no drama, but perhaps there are fewer reasons for drama to occur. Of course there are some mature, single SD’s who are very capable of having a no strings relationship as well.

Married SD’s are not for everyone and I’m just offering different ways to consider single vs married SD’s. Please note I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind and there are pros and cons just like any other aspects of a sugar relationship. Your own experience and individual cases may vary.

3 comments:

  1. SD Guru,

    Married SDs are definitely a good way to go! I can say from my escorting experience that I prefer married clients to single ones. The single guys might be able to see me more frequently but it still doesn't out weight the bonuses of seeing a married client.

    Married men: Have a wife to 'report' to. LOL (Not in a bad way, but I am sure she expects her husband to be there certain times of day/night).
    This is great because if a client gets all creepy (stalker-ish), I know he has very limited time to actually do anything creepy.

    I also think that most married men better understand and need a NSA arrangement. Their head is usually in the right place - with their wife.

    I never feel like I'm doing anything wrong being with a man who is married. I see it like this - he made the choice to see me. I am not the one who made a choice to see him and break up his marriage, therefore karma cannot bite me on the bum.

    Everyone sees ladies on the side for different reasons, and I am not there to judge or even question those reasons.
    Why an SD chooses to see an SB while he is married is none of her business, just like what an SB does for a living is none of his. I think it's just a mutual respect :)

    Nice post and I agree! hehehe

    xo

    Sexy Sadie

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  2. Great post...I prefer married sd's ...pretty much for all the reasons you stated above =]

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  3. I recently met my 1st married SD (almost accidentally as I must have missed this in his profile I was formerly against this until now). Anyway,he was upfront about it. He is definitely different than the single SDs I have dealt with in the past. There is more of a seriousness about him if you will. He's not playing the games that I have seen in some of the single SDs.I guess he obviously has more to lose if he were to be messy. That's a good thing! :)

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